This one is about me and my witch walking through Dystopia. Or walking away from it? One of those odd things that I started during the first lockdown and have not given up yet are daily walks for 2-3 hours. They led out of the city and into forests and fields, between haunted houses, cows and highways in the distance. Those places have gotten a meaning through the months. Some were places to scream, some to take a deep breath …
I don’t like to look a difficult times in a way that look for something good as if good things only come out of crisis, but with everything else that was/is happening finding my fields saved me, so I want to share them
I feared a curfew, a real one. For the first time ever, I felt claustrophobic at home, so I just had to escape outside. We never had a real curfew, but you needed (as I am typing this, this has actually come back) a good reason to be outside.
So, this was an escape route.
It happened that in March and April, I took those walks around sunset and saw the most dramatic sky. Looking at those trees, I listened to music to catch the yearning I was feeling, and once was called by a friend and talked for several hours. I still feel those things when standing at that spot.
It was difficult for me to find the right music to listen to. That was something new. One night, I sat in the kitchen and nothing would fit. Everything was full of memories of a life that was over.
So I had to find a place to go whenever I was lost.
I have found places I had never been looking for. In my notes, I called this one “lost and urban beauty”.
This felt like the end of the world.
And yes, those tracks are still used and very often trains have passed me there.
Some places, I put emotions that made me scream.
But some of those new and lost places that I found were just beautiful.
This made me happy to come back to them once a day.
And I found more than just places to feel lost at, and to scream unplaceable emotions out into the night.
I also found places that made me take a deep breath, and look at the horizon while believing in things and people and a feeling to be back some day.
Until then, there sometimes was unexpected company to be found …
I have also found many houses that made my witch wake up and point out how haunted and bewitched these little spots appeared that I had never noticed before.
My witch and I have found so many places that seemed to hide a tale somewhere inside of them.
I cannot describe how beautiful a quiet and empty field can be and how it sometimes was my only chance to really breath.
I even managed to capture this rainbow!
After a few weeks in this weird state of isolation and loneliness and not being able to look foward to anyting, I began to come home to those places.
I was standing next to the road and having a cigarette …
… or resting on a field and observing the university bulding far in the distance, while missing to go back there.
I cannot put into words how much it meant to me to always come back to this empty road just after sunset.
I also discovered my passion or roses and raindrops on those walks.
Those were the places that gave my thoughts a place to be. Thoughts of people and places that I am still missing, and thoughts of having lost any purpose in life. Whenever I was walking down those paths, I was able to take a deep breath and believe in things to be back some day.
Mistress witch writes 