History disrupted (and a pretty street lamp)

I didn‘t take this photo just because the street lamp looked pretty, but seriously – it does! And I was surprised to find it there where I had found it, and here we have a realization which made me quite spontaneously question my view on history in general (including an unscheduled lecture for the friend who was with me…).

So, where did I find this lamp?
This photo was taken in a small town called Herzogenrath, in the West of Germany, very close to the Dutch border.

Why was I surprised?
I just didn‘t expect something so pretty.
Okay, I had taken the journey to Herzogenrath to visit an old castle (places from the days of my witch to get into the vibe, you know), but a lamp like this usually does not find its way into a version of German cities that I am used to. Also, I can only speak for the northern and western parts of Germany that I have mostly lived in, but there I definitely noticed a lack of old things most of the time. Our cities had to be rebuild and were rebuild mostly modern, as a contrast to earlier times. The first time I had ever seen these pretty lamps was when I was in the Netherlands for the first time, the other site of the border I was getting so close to that day, and spent a week with my art class in Amsterdam. I took countless photos of embellishment. The version of Germany which I had always known best was one that only started about 70 years ago and had to define itself as something new. I had grown up in a bad neighbourhood with high buildings, and I had actually learned to find them beautiful. Multi stories, multi cultural – that defined the world I grew up in. In a place that was only several decades old, since it was built of the need for living space in the 1960s.

All the new architectural and design ideas of the 1960s and 1970s had always touched my heart. I felt the hope for something new in them, the hope to do better in the future. They had me think back to the bold ideas of Bauhaus – artists in the 1920s. I loved their ideas that much that the roof top of our library at the university made me feel at home a bit too much (at times I basically lived there).

This is just my very personal view on things, based on where I come from. My friend, who lived at the border of a smaller town most of his life and grew up in the remains of an old farm never realized this contrast. It definitely cannot be found anywhere around here, but it has some consistency, depending on where you look. And I realized that this disruption, although a positive and hopeful one in my opinion, shaped my view on history a lot.
Older generations seemed emotionally distant. And that also accounts for someone still as close to me as my grandparents. They have either survived or even committed themselves terrible things. I could give so many examples of how that disruption was visible through all of my family. I have to think of my mother who went to school in the 1960s and 1970s and was among the first to visit a German version of a comprehensive school, to come home with an education no one there shared, and being in shock when finding out that her grandmother still denied the holocaust to have happened. This is one of the most extreme examples, I have to admit. But still.

This moment of disruption can feel hopeful, but it can also tempt to bury the past without reflecting it. The past is a weight to carry around, and it can be difficult. Only looking forward does not lead anywhere good. Looking back is difficult. Picking out the things that were good or not as bad is disrespectful towards the big picture.

I am not writing this post because I figured out what to make of this yet. I only realized this disruption in my thoughts. And I also realized that for a very long time, I have been thinking too often of the future only, without being able to deal with the past. For the past two years, I suddenly felt the need to think myself into the 17th century and explore the life of my witch during one of the darkest centuries. The exact oppsotive.

For now, I can say that I want the future to be as good as a version of this world as possible, and the past was survived by means I don‘t really understand yet.
Have I touched big issues with this post without really getting into them? Yes. But I hope you read this just as honest thoughts and streams of consciousness.

And all of this was caused by finding a pretty street lamp a few kilometers too far east. The inside of my head is fun!