Of love and consistency

„It gave my life consistency“, my witch explained one night, after holding on to a piece of raspberry cream cake for very long. „More than it usually had.“

Some moments feel so special, something must grow out of them!
Just shed tears on them, and wait for ranks to grow and blossom.
These moments have a sparkle, a flavour and a scent that just has to prevail!

„It was the darkest challenge“, she admitted as she playfully eyed the rest of the cake in our middle. „But I would have lost the last thing to hold me together, had I let go.“

And I feel her words.
I feel her words and I feel who I want to send them to.
To someone who appeared on a horizon turning pink after a long winter.
To someone whose words reached me between ice cream and wine, with flowers in my hair.
To someone who saw these things and knew.
Knew who I was and where I was.
Who did not speak much, but only well thought words.
To someone I had been missing without ever knowing.
Someone I dreamed of with my beloved Jonny purring next to me.
When G. was waiting for me, and M. was still alive.
In those days, when I was still able to breathe.
To someone who made me wonder who I was and where I was going.
Someone who made me curious.
Someone who made me live like never before.
To someone who reached out to me in my happiest moment.

No matter what Dystopia happened since then.
No matter how plague and war have threatened our hearts.

„If I let go, I can‘t hold it together“, I agree with my witch. „Because it gave my life consistency.“

You are the reason for flowers in my hair today.
For my voice to sound the way it sounds.
For the black dress with the riffles over my shoulder.
The reason for those words to find their way through all my messy thoughts.
Just as the reason for my heart to tell me it‘s still there and beating, sometimes bleeding.
You are the reason for my leaking soul.

I love you, and the moment you found me in, because you gave my life consistency.

Two girls on the kitchen floor.
A huge raspberry cream cake still waiting to be enjoyed.
“There will always be a tomorrow if you’re stubborn enough”, Layla reminds me.

Magic is real.