„So, we‘re just going to embrace a stake, if we see one?“, my witch giggles into my ear, while I am still shaking. With fury, I think.
„If we don‘t, it‘s gonna be there either way.“
This one is about being a little bit difficult.
When I turned 13, my mother got me a card that said that good girls go to heaven while bad girls go all kinds of places. It was awkward. My mother wanted to be cool.
Very soon afterwards, she began to complain about how difficult I was and has ever since not stopped.
I guess so far I have literally explored all kinds of places to be as good as I could, as well as emotionally and mentally.
„Maybe peace of mind is just a weird concept“, I say as my witch steals my Vanilla Latte once more.
We are having a hot Vanilla Latte again, since this July is full of rainy autumn storms and Iced Latte days seem to be over.
„I don‘t know. Never tried it out at all.“ And Layla grins.
Do you sometimes wonder what do to with all the wrongs in the world?
Obviously, we can‘t just make them stop. We can‘t even pick one of them to solve itself over night.
I still need to face them.
One thing I have learned about myself is that I can‘t push these things away. It drives me crazy.
What happens to all the wrongs in the world if they are not faced?
What happens to burning forests and dying wildlife?
What happens to desperate pople drowning i the ocean for their last bit of hope?
To all the slaughtering of another way to live, be, sound, exist?
„What happens IF they are faced?“, Layla asks.
I recently ended a few friendships,
Something terrible had been done my someone we all knew, and it was a confusing situation in which information was needed but no one wanted to speak about anything and everyone was protecting themselves from the fact that our little group was broken.
I will never ask them to not shelter themselves if needed.
But I cannot live like that.
I cannot bury these things in silence.
„Your words can be twisted“, my witch reminds me.
My mother wants me to stop talking about the terrible thing that had happened.
She also wants me to stop talking about climate change.
Or the war against Ukraine.
Or anything that matters to me.
„It‘s not going to change she tends to remind me.“
The world is never going to be perfect.
There has never been a period of full world peace since recorded history.
There will always be new reasons for discrimination.
We thought in the 80s that all trees would be dead by now.
„And not addressing it is making it better?“
I once went to a therapist who wanted me to control my emotions better.
I was allowed to mourn my grandmother, but to eat something extremely sour.
I was not allowed to be annoyed by a co-worker, I was supposed to lock myself in the bathroom and meditate.
I was not allowed to think about why I was avoiding my E-Mails, but watch an Episode of Friends.
It made me miserable.
I want to cry when my person of trust just died.
I want to be annoyed when people are rude.
I want to understand why I am scared.
Sometimes, I think it is okay to not be okay.
Sometimes, it‘s okay to have a racing heart or to shed a little bit of tears over something.
It‘s okay to sit down for a while and take a break.
It‘s okay to react to the world around instead of always shutting it out.
At some point, after a long time of trying it out, I decided to unlearn what that therapist had shown me.
I am not happier, I think.
But I am more alive.
„Sooooo“, Layla giggles herself back into my thoughts. „What happens if the wrongs are faced?“
I smile sadly.
„They are being addressed. They are not so easily forgotten. They are put into words and those that suffer from them are being seen and understood and maybe even helped.“
I am not saying that taking care of yourself and sometimes shutting the world out is wrong. When to do this and when not is a very personal choice.
But the concept of a peaceful mind that is never bothered is one that I can never understand.
Mistress witch writes 