I am not your nice, Christian girl next door, as you might have noticed. And this is not a role I play for this blogging project, or to promote my writing and music. This is me, and I stick to it, even when it gets complicated, and believe me: It becomes an issue more oftenContinue reading “Why I am not a nice girl”
Tag Archives: Dystopia
Intimate tale
I yearn for those moments,When I existedsolelyin your eyes.When I wasnothingBut an image causingCuriosity.I lived in those momentsWhen you knewNothingAbout the scarsBetween myThighs.Moments that werePure and softAnd kept mySecretWithout anyFalsity.In those momentsI felt loveFor all the thingsYou mustn’tKnow.All the thingsWent looseWithin myHeadAnd found their wayOnto myTongue.I still amThese momentsWhen I hadYouAnd you deniedThe thingsI wantedContinue reading “Intimate tale”
The tale of mental health in a burning world
“Wanna feel better?”, my witch asks me as she presents tonight’s options. Do we want to get drunk and risk a headache? Do we want to try out yoga again although we’ve never managed to take it seriously? Do we want to escape the last traces of reality by watching a sitcom and ignoring theContinue reading “The tale of mental health in a burning world”
World ache tale
This darkness is not mineA rainy cloudIs ready to burstWe’re sobbing too loudIt’s not personalAt all. This sadness is not mineMy dead motherIs dangling from the ceilingHanging in the kitchenI think she might be leaking. This pain is not mineThe world has gone lostFlames are soaringIt’s spilling bloodAnd I still have skin. Is this bodyContinue reading “World ache tale”
Secret of tonight
“You’re sure you’re gonna survive this?”, my witch giggles over my shoulder. No, but I’m undead since age 5.“Really?”YeaDaddy killed meWhen I was 5It was the kind a murderWhere nobody dies.I forgotHow to survive.That’s Enough secrets spilledFor tonight.
We, the fallen daughters
“Isn’t it comforting to know that you can’t fall deeper than that?”, my witch giggles over my shoulder.“Deeper than what?”“Than right into the hand of god?” And her wine laughter bursts. I am a fallen daughter.And as it is with this kind of falling, there hardly ever seems to be a bottom to reach.I amContinue reading “We, the fallen daughters”
There is no magic trick.
“You, me, a floral dress and a bottle of wine – I’ll love those night walks forever!”, my witch giggles over my shoulder… … And I blush, as I remember myself walking with my bottle of wine through sunset for most of the pandemic. Recently, someone asked me for a help with a rather personalContinue reading “There is no magic trick.”
Nowhere girl
Lasciviously provoking the universe, a witch once asked: “He is not coming back, right?” The girl that came from nowhereLearned how to danceWhen her world wasTurned upside down.When she was foundThe earth moved againWith forces reachingFor skin,As she whispers:“You can’t leave me now, ‘cause I’ve unlearned how to breathe.” The girl that has nowhere toContinue reading “Nowhere girl”
28 crosses in Prague – A haunted historical trip with my witch
“This place is so haunted”, my witch giggles over my shoulder.I took us to a place where for the both of us history becomes very much alive and reminds us of how fragile and thin skinned we are, and how exposed we are to history’s tales. A trip to Prague My witch and I visitedContinue reading “28 crosses in Prague – A haunted historical trip with my witch”
A very feminine lesson learned …
… and it has taken me more than ten years to be able to say this. My whole adult life so far has been shaped by this kind of struggle. By reaching for the stars, and having big dreams. By being full of creativity and ideas, and running into walls. And it is a factContinue reading “A very feminine lesson learned …”
Who are the daughters? Discussing politics with my witch.
“Do you count as a daughter?”, my witch giggles over my shoulder, and I have to admit that I don’t know. And not knowing has become a problem, because recently, being the right kind of daughter has become a political issue in Germany. But let’s start at the beginning of this new political daughter trouble.Continue reading “Who are the daughters? Discussing politics with my witch.”
Why I have been struggling with writing my witching tales
It is an early afternoon, and I am alone in a brutalist library, having my witch on my shoulder. Together, we are cross-reading the original court files of a witch hunt in Cologne in 1629, and while we burn for the insights the book has to offer, I am shaking and tears are still glowingContinue reading “Why I have been struggling with writing my witching tales”
Witching Review – “Remarkable Creatures” by Tracy Chevalier
This time, I am reviewing a novel that combines my two passions: The history of science, and well, novel writing. It is a wonderfully crafted piece of historical fiction! This one is about the novel “Remarkable Creatures” by Tracy Chevalier. Set in the early 19th century, this novel is about two women looking for fossilsContinue reading “Witching Review – “Remarkable Creatures” by Tracy Chevalier”
How my writing has suffered recently
As I’m typing these words, the landscape is flying by my train window as the autumn sun is setting. I have already been trying to write this down before getting on my next adventure. And also, when I was settling into my new temporary home, but never got around to it, so I think IContinue reading “How my writing has suffered recently”
Damaged girl tale
This poem smells like rain and tastes like Coffee with a shot. Or as my witch would say: “What a wonderful start for a tragedy.” If you look at meFor a bit too longI’m sure you’ll seeSo I’ll tiptoe aroundI can’t let you inOn my secret trickNot nowNot yet. All the thingsThat I carry aroundAreContinue reading “Damaged girl tale”
And a guilty one was found. Dystopia update.
Do you still remember how difficult buying toilet paper in the first months of the pandemic was? How small businesses were fighting to survive the years of regular lockdowns? Suddenly flour became rare, because Russia invaded Ukraine, and all over the world the prices for bread and pasta went through the roof. As well asContinue reading “And a guilty one was found. Dystopia update.”
Why the moon is mean tonight
Two girls out on a field at night. All alone, except for a black cat in the distance, and the shadows they cast into the night.“You’d think of all the nights the moon might pick a better night to rise”, my witch complains as she sits down in the high grass and crosses her arms,Continue reading “Why the moon is mean tonight”
I’m a published witch once more!
An essay of mine has been accepted into a wonderful online magazine! Follow the link for more information. I have poured the best and darkest part of my witching research into this non-fiction piece describing the gloomy myths around the body of those guilty of witchcraft, and I am so honored that it has beenContinue reading “I’m a published witch once more!”
To sooth my soul in memories
“If only you could see me now”, I sigh as the sky turns pink. My witch refills my cup with hot chocolate. “Would that make a difference?”, she wants to know. I love to visit the hay bales on the field behind the house every year! I have always been so much more perceptive ofContinue reading “To sooth my soul in memories”
Apparently I’m a “pick-me” – girl – or “the toxic experience of being a woman”
Those are not the skulls of competing women I murdered, I promise. When thinking about becoming a women, there are two moments of my teenage years that come to my mind immediately. And no, with this post I won’t tell you the story of my first period. Although periods have something to do with it.Continue reading “Apparently I’m a “pick-me” – girl – or “the toxic experience of being a woman””
Magical writing coffee time in Aachen
I had to recharge magic again, so I went to one of my very favourite witching places: The medieval city of Aachen. It’s a place where magic happens. Always. I went there with my witch giggling loudly in the back of my head, begging me for a poem, because I had been ignoring her forContinue reading “Magical writing coffee time in Aachen”
Girl in an empty room
I’m still a girl,In an empty room,Wishing we could allBe in here. The white of the walls,Is telling a story,Having an ending,I won’t accept. I am still a girlCrying aloneIn the forestAt night. Your footsteps were thereJust a minute ago.I could have sworn!Maybe I should have. I am still a girl,Able to tell,That I amContinue reading “Girl in an empty room”
… and another journal!
My toxic trait as a writer is that I need to buy new, pretty notebooks, whenever my writing feels stuck. This project is not going the way I want it to? I probably need to dedicate another flower pattern to it! It actually helps, though. I bought this pretty thing that I am holding upContinue reading “… and another journal!”
Where darkness can rest – or making out with demons
I’m thinking about the place where nightmares go.The space to put the darkness, contain the screams, the wounds, and scars of the past, once we’re done carrying them around with us. I’m thinking of this place deep inside. Somewhere in the chest. Or the gut? “Back in my days, people thought the soul was containedContinue reading “Where darkness can rest – or making out with demons”
Dystopia face
How can I be so scared of your face?Of pretty eyes,So huge and round.Of lips being parted,Slowly losing their shape.How can I be so scared of this face?Is it the wayYour skin is wrapped around your skull?Is it the wayYour hair clings to your forehead?Is it the way you bleed,The way your tears paintThrough theContinue reading “Dystopia face”
Damaged girl – exploring early modern medicine with my witch
“Having a body is unfair”, I remind my witch over an iced latte we share.“And not having one is not really an option”, she adds.What a terrible world we live in. Since I am recovering from a morning that has smelled like sanitizers and might in the end have meant nothing at all, I wantContinue reading “Damaged girl – exploring early modern medicine with my witch”
Sunset thoughts
Sunsets make me cry. There is a brief moment when not just the sky is blue, but the whole world. The trees, the fields, the shadows in the narrow streets. Everything is tainted in this calming colour that closes up my throat. It’s like hearing an echo of all the other colours that once were,Continue reading “Sunset thoughts”
“I haunt this forest, Sir”
I once knew a girl so soft.She was so soft, her skin was breaking at the edges. When this girl walked the earth, she forgot about herself so easily. She felt the traces the world had left within her skin. The lines uneven drawn by branches and their thorns. The holes left by hands onceContinue reading ““I haunt this forest, Sir””
Witches against the world – Comparing the witching myth with modern conspiracy theories
The image of the burning witch is as far away from historical reality as was the old belief in them conspiring against the world. Still, both narratives have survived the centuries. Nowadays, people caught up in controversies compare themselves to those burned by the stake to gain sympathies, and recent crises have given voice toContinue reading “Witches against the world – Comparing the witching myth with modern conspiracy theories”
What stories are made of …
We are the thing only stories can tell.Your eyesHiding a sufferingOn the insideMy handsNever reachingBut longingFor your skinAnd allThat hides within. We are the things that songs are made for.All the wordsSwallowed in pain,But meaning the worldAll the dreamsBorn with a touchOver too soon.I need you,Please have me,take me,Please be the oneTo fest on myContinue reading “What stories are made of …”
Mistress witch writes 