There is an ocean inside of me.There is a depth that is risingand is cold but burning.There are words never saidand thoughts kept secret.There is pain beyond this worldand joy as bright as stars. There is an ocean inside of meand sometimes I am leaking. There is an ocean inside of me.Drown with me.Drown insideContinue reading “Inside of a witch”
Tag Archives: emotional
A tale that has to belong into this world
I am barely a person anymore, because I‘ve been vibrating too much on that last frequency, so that no light would ever break itself on my shape. During the last year, I have said these words very often. I felt as if all the things that had once made me a person did not belongContinue reading “A tale that has to belong into this world”
Never happy ending
When you held meI stopped leakingfor a short momentthat was a sparkle. I saw you and you saw meand I was hurtby what the worldhad done to you. All of ourselvesand skins still markedby thoughts and shardssank into each other. I want to be thankfulfor this happy ending,but I don‘t want thisto ever end. „HappyContinue reading “Never happy ending”
A hole to be safe in
I want this soul to stop leaking.I want it to stop drowning while carrying the weight of all the worlds that have died.I want it to take a deep breath and feel the sun once more.I want it to stop existing for words never spoken and things never felt. „Whenever I try to make itContinue reading “A hole to be safe in”
Feel me as a witch
Sometimes, I close my eyes to see my witch. I see a lonely and troubled Lady alone in the kitchen of a house that had not always been this empty.I see her hair, which is curlier and more red than mine. I see her pacing up and down, while casting views out of the window.Continue reading “Feel me as a witch”
Oh my shadow!
„With my shadow,oh my shadow“, my witch whispers. It‘s not enough,it was alwaystoo short and too earlyto break apartwith words and thoughtsstill unspoken. Just onceone more timehis eyes on meinstead of nightsempty and fullof ice creamand wine. In moments like thisthe world is leakingis woundedis sore.
What do witches dream for?
„If witching dreams are really about closing my eyes and imagining things just to feel them once more, they still make me sad“, I tell my witch. „A minute of escape, but no real relief. But if they are all about pleading with the universe and convincing it to bend the rules, then witching dreamsContinue reading “What do witches dream for?”
See me with strawberries and cream
I wanted you to see mecurled up on my bedeating strawberries and creamwearing nothing but a shirttoo wide for meand I wanted you to pet my headand smile at meas gently and as warmas you would haveif you could haveever seen me this way. „At least I wore the dress I wanted to wear forContinue reading “See me with strawberries and cream”
Picking up the shards
I am picking up the shardsto put them back together.But to have those shardsthings have to break,and breaking isn’t fair.Surviving isn’t fairbut has to be donefor now. Even when brokenly bleedingand bleedingly brokenI am still herealthough some of the pieceshave lost what held themtogether onceand are looking fornew places to go. „Witches transform“, I amContinue reading “Picking up the shards”
My perfect witching dream
My perfect witching dreamis you waving at me from across the old hallof that very old train stationwhere we once metwhen Dystopia had noteaten up our souls yetand we would meet therewith other people all aroundtheir voices and their laughterand we would not carejust running onto each otherand showing each otherwhat wounded bits and partsContinue reading “My perfect witching dream”
The things we burn for
I am holding my breathbecause the air I could breatheis not filled with youalthough I want it to. I stayed awakeand ran through the nightto the end of the worldlooking for you. I am not laughingbut I am embracingthe whole worldfor a second. I am not sadbut I am mourningthe world for it existsat all.Continue reading “The things we burn for”
Do you know I’m in love with you already?
My thoughts always return to the moment when you entered my life.Actually, you have been in my life before, but before that moment which I remember, you were just someone.I am reliving the moment that you stopped being just someone and became more to me.I have to think of those months when the weather isContinue reading “Do you know I’m in love with you already?”
Tale about breaking
Once these eyes are openand don‘t see youI have to understand this strange worldall over again. Once these eyes are moving aroundin their leaking holesthey search for blue, yellow and greenfinding nothing but red. Once I am awakeI am breaking apartlearning the truth once againwithout you. Because once I am restingmy soul resets meand IContinue reading “Tale about breaking”
Words of a witch
„Early in my life, I had to understand that my family was broken and very soon stopped being real. Then, I experienced passionate love to turn into rage and result in knifes being pointed. The last thing to which I committed were my friends, and now that is gone too. There once was a warmContinue reading “Words of a witch”
Dystopia love
It‘s hard for you to get out of yourselfso I want to be under your skin. I want to hidethere in your shadowin your warmthbecause you know my painand I can guess those wordsthat are too hard for you to say. I want to be under your skinat least for once. I deny the spacethatContinue reading “Dystopia love”
Tale about witchcraft
Another night following a glowing evening in spring.We are sitting on my kitchen floor.No ice cream, this time.„Layla, I have been screaming too loud, lately“, I say to my witch. „It‘s your turn, now.“„My turn?“„Yes, this is your story, after all“, I remind both of us. Layla grins her witching grin. „That‘s right“, she saysContinue reading “Tale about witchcraft”
I’m still saying these things
You‘re not here anymoreand I‘m still saying these things. I‘m still saying these thingsthat I did not ever want to say before,that I did not even joke about. You‘re goneand I‘m still saying these thingsthat I wanted to say to you. I‘m still saying these thingsalthough you can‘t hear me. But I‘m still saying theseContinue reading “I’m still saying these things”
Lick me when I’m leaking
I‘m leakingout of infectious witching eyeshaving dreams drop outhaving drowned in themwith favorite memories only ever imagined. I‘m leakingbecause his eyes once widened when I was shiveringwere so warmwere so widewere all I ever wanted to have seen me. I‘m leakingnot just after the one but all the thingsthat could have beenbut never wereand leaveContinue reading “Lick me when I’m leaking”
Flashing back
Good morning. How is your tea? Good. How is the cupcake? Delicious. I am having flashbacks to when Sophie and Kim left. Yes, me too. The snow is melting. It is getting warmer. The sky was pink in the morning. Beautiful. I am so homesick! Me too. The trees are still bare. Still almost dead.Continue reading “Flashing back”
“There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?”
„Something has been lost“, I say to m witch. „It has always been invisible, but was still there, and now it‘s gone.“ „And how do you know it‘s gone?“, Layla asks. „I feel it.“ Just stop feeling, stop feeling it. It is invisibleIt is in this mind in this head this chestIt makes the heartContinue reading ““There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?””
When I write about witches
Whenever I write about witchesthere are thoughtsin my headlooking for a placeand cutting cross my mind. When I write about witches,I am missing things.Early mornings,a cup of coffeeand something to do. When I write about witchesI am missing people.Steps I recognize,laughter I know,and most importantly: you. Whenever I write about witches,my inside has lostwhatever onceContinue reading “When I write about witches”
Your violet sparkle
Whenever I smile, it‘s the thought of you that makes this cheeks tickle and squeeze. It‘s the thought of youbringing with you a violet sparklelike an early sunrise in spring. But then I remember that all of you are gone and will never return. Violet has leftand so have green and blueand yellow is drowning.Continue reading “Your violet sparkle”
For you, from your witch.
All my lifeI was growingInto that personThat resonates with you. And just when we metOur world came to an end.
A fairytale without dying horribly
On my way to him, I felt a sparkle.My hair felt longer and my nose more slim.I was on my way to himand a tale grew into a song inside of meand a path was suddenly clear. My cheeks started burning,I began to dream,and I was asking the stars,was pleading with the universe: Why can‘tContinue reading “A fairytale without dying horribly”
Tale about goodbyes
We never said goodbye, so you have to return. I am thinking about all those goodbyes that were never said.About eyes becoming fearful round.About lips opening slightly, but no words coming out.About tears getting ready but staying inside. And I wonder whether these were promises for precious things to still be part of days thatContinue reading “Tale about goodbyes”
I want to say something
Can I say something?I want to say something.Please, let me say something. Let me say something in a voice that you like.With a nice voice.With a voice to be heard,without sounding hard. Listen to my voice as a voice that you like.Listen to my voice that you likewhile I say that I have to sayContinue reading “I want to say something”
Hope is furious
„It‘s time to wear black and be sad.“My witch and I perfectly agreed with 13 year old me. Being 25 years old in 2020 felt surprisingly similar. Whatever would make me happy, or a little lesser sad, was not available anymore. „It‘s constant darkness, and I‘m still running around looking for a light that isContinue reading “Hope is furious”
See me as a witch
What makes a person, Layla? Is it two arms and legs,and eyes to see,and a voice to speak with,and blood to spill? Maybe, he saw me as a person. He did not seethat all I ever did was vibratingon that very last frequencythat was left by better days. He saw me as one,but I thinkContinue reading “See me as a witch”
lovers and needles
I want to make you hide inside my cupboardYou know, just things that lovers do. I want to make youbreathe in deepermake you shiverthink about leavingbut never do so. I want to make you melt,and leave a stain,a scent all over me,just things that lovers do. But all I ever dois things that women withContinue reading “lovers and needles”
The witch and the needle
This witch once reached for a needleto do nothing morethan patch some socks.And there it had already happened:she was a woman with a needle. This witch now was a creaturethat had always been therealways been right next to you,but now seemed capableto rip this world apart. Has this witch ever doneanything else thanpatching some socksContinue reading “The witch and the needle”
Mistress witch writes 