I’m still a girl,In an empty room,Wishing we could allBe in here. The white of the walls,Is telling a story,Having an ending,I won’t accept. I am still a girlCrying aloneIn the forestAt night. Your footsteps were thereJust a minute ago.I could have sworn!Maybe I should have. I am still a girl,Able to tell,That I amContinue reading “Girl in an empty room”
Tag Archives: personal
… and another journal!
My toxic trait as a writer is that I need to buy new, pretty notebooks, whenever my writing feels stuck. This project is not going the way I want it to? I probably need to dedicate another flower pattern to it! It actually helps, though. I bought this pretty thing that I am holding upContinue reading “… and another journal!”
Where darkness can rest – or making out with demons
I’m thinking about the place where nightmares go.The space to put the darkness, contain the screams, the wounds, and scars of the past, once we’re done carrying them around with us. I’m thinking of this place deep inside. Somewhere in the chest. Or the gut? “Back in my days, people thought the soul was containedContinue reading “Where darkness can rest – or making out with demons”
Sunset thoughts
Sunsets make me cry. There is a brief moment when not just the sky is blue, but the whole world. The trees, the fields, the shadows in the narrow streets. Everything is tainted in this calming colour that closes up my throat. It’s like hearing an echo of all the other colours that once were,Continue reading “Sunset thoughts”
Witch on the road – Would I look nice as a statue?
Within less than a year, I have travelled to some of the most exciting places in Europe. Sometimes for work, sometimes privately. On these travels, I have met some of the most important figures in my field of studies, natural history and the history of science! I got to hang out with Lamarck in Paris,Continue reading “Witch on the road – Would I look nice as a statue?”
I keep wondering why people do this to me …
I keep wondering what it is about myself that keeps people attacking me for my future plans. Is it that I’m a female? Is it that I look younger than I am? Is it that I have something about me people dislike? People in general approach me to tell me why my plans, workwise orContinue reading “I keep wondering why people do this to me …”
“I haunt this forest, Sir”
I once knew a girl so soft.She was so soft, her skin was breaking at the edges. When this girl walked the earth, she forgot about herself so easily. She felt the traces the world had left within her skin. The lines uneven drawn by branches and their thorns. The holes left by hands onceContinue reading ““I haunt this forest, Sir””
Witches against the world – Comparing the witching myth with modern conspiracy theories
The image of the burning witch is as far away from historical reality as was the old belief in them conspiring against the world. Still, both narratives have survived the centuries. Nowadays, people caught up in controversies compare themselves to those burned by the stake to gain sympathies, and recent crises have given voice toContinue reading “Witches against the world – Comparing the witching myth with modern conspiracy theories”
What stories are made of …
We are the thing only stories can tell.Your eyesHiding a sufferingOn the insideMy handsNever reachingBut longingFor your skinAnd allThat hides within. We are the things that songs are made for.All the wordsSwallowed in pain,But meaning the worldAll the dreamsBorn with a touchOver too soon.I need you,Please have me,take me,Please be the oneTo fest on myContinue reading “What stories are made of …”
Reach for the stars, girl!
I have to hold the hand of my witch very tight once more as we brace ourselves for getting upset. I am so glad that I summoned her, because I have never had a bestie. I never had a best friend, a BFF. I only ever had weird nerdy boys to hang out with, becauseContinue reading “Reach for the stars, girl!”
How my writing changed after the pandemic
This is not just my reminder to take care of my blog more regularly again. This, after all, is my passion project! But no, this is written to reflect on the changes I’m currently struggling with. When the pandemic ended the life I was used to, I was writing with the passion of this beingContinue reading “How my writing changed after the pandemic”
Getting better at dealing with dreams
I dreamed of living in a city with a tram and doing something meaningful, when I was 18 years old. Something meaningful back then meant doing art, writing, something creative to move the world. And a beautiful city with a tram that I had just visited had been Amsterdam, where both my art and myContinue reading “Getting better at dealing with dreams”
“I see your face at every corner.”
I see your face at every corner.I watch the stars rise. I see your face at every corner.My skin was wrapped into yours safely,Under the same colour of sky.I see your face and every corner.I watch the stars rise.He wears your coat.She has your eyes.I watch the stars rise.He has your hair.Your face is missing.IContinue reading ““I see your face at every corner.””
Okay, Daddy?! – Sinful thoughts of a witch
“What’s your little girl crying about?”, my witch giggles into her half of our shared pitaya, tainting her lips in the deepest pink. She looks very cute, and I have to think of another crying girl I have recently seen. The other one was not as cute as my witch, although she really tried herContinue reading “Okay, Daddy?! – Sinful thoughts of a witch”
Witching review – The poisoner’s tale by Cathryn Kemp
Is this my first negative witching review? Seems like it. At least, it is about a novel that makes me want to talk about a lot of issues. I once promised myself to not ever write such a negative review, but to only use this new blog category to collect all the curious things IContinue reading “Witching review – The poisoner’s tale by Cathryn Kemp”
Come with me on a witching adventure!
I would like to take my readers on a little adventure! An unusual one, really. This off-topic post will not be about witches and demons, dystopia yearnings, or anything alike these things. Distant lovers might be mentioned here and there, because I invite you to travel 2000km up north with me, cross the Baltic Sea,Continue reading “Come with me on a witching adventure!”
How my writing brain used alchemy research to make it through a hospital night – an unusual witching writing diary post!
Recently, I have been reading a lot about alchemy, and the knowledge came in more handy than I could have thought. This one is about an involuntarily adventure! As some of my readers know, I have recently been travelling for a few weeks. I will write a post about that experience soon! After coming home,Continue reading “How my writing brain used alchemy research to make it through a hospital night – an unusual witching writing diary post!”
An awkward thing to say to dead people on a melting day. And cake.
“What an awkward thing to say”, my witch giggles into the fog as tears run down my face. The fog is not with us, of course. It is just a few meters away, but dense enough to hide the horizon. Or, the end of the colourful street we’re sitting by in the freezing cold.“As awkwardContinue reading “An awkward thing to say to dead people on a melting day. And cake.”
“Is it safe to sleep tonight?”
Is it safe to sleep at night?My eyes are so heavy.My thoughts blur away.I need to rest,But what if the shadows grow over my head? Is it safe to sleep at night?Who will come,If I turn off the lights?I hear them in the distance,From the back of my head. I hear a whisper,Waiting in theContinue reading ““Is it safe to sleep tonight?””
Searching for a place – thoughts about happiness, and my little rejected short story
The search continues! The search for a place for this haunted little short story to fit. “Haunted boy” jus got rejected the third time, which isn’t that much I know. I eve received a personalized rejection, asking me to send in more of my writing in the future. I still like to reflect on theseContinue reading “Searching for a place – thoughts about happiness, and my little rejected short story”
What it takes to be strong
Lately, I have been wondering where strength comes from.What does it take to be strong? Strong enough to face the world? Life requires strength each moment it continues, I do not ever dare to forget that for a second. My witch laughs about me, sitting by the window wearing nothing but a night dress whileContinue reading “What it takes to be strong”
Why it matters that we tell our stories!
Lately, I have been rethinking why I insist on writing, especially historical fiction. Am I just attempting to contribute to a weird branch of the entertainment industry, or do I have justified deeper reasons for doing this? Can there even be these deeper reasons, or is there always this odd question mark above those thatContinue reading “Why it matters that we tell our stories!”
Still alive. Just aged a bit.
Had some turning 30 to do. In general been very busy. I struggled with pre-pandemic friends cancelling on me, and had a little emotional fall back into my 2020-darkness. We were great, we did not deserve to be destroyed like that! On the other hand, new things kept me busy. This roller coaster! New witchyContinue reading “Still alive. Just aged a bit.”
Lonely window tale
“I’m not ready to sing by myself!” Between layers of silk,she disappears.For the scent of roses,she is parting her lips.Whatever escapes,can’t ever be heard.As the velvet dances,she can be seen,and is ready to sing,to assure his return.with eyes so keen.Until one day,he does not. And won’t ever hearwhat could be a sighand not the innocentContinue reading “Lonely window tale”
Giggling about 2024 with my witch
What a year it was! Looking back on 2024, I finally feel confident to say that I am back on track. Baring in mind that my whole life fell apart in March 2020, it took me long enough to get there! Still, I am just happy about to many things that happened. So many things,Continue reading “Giggling about 2024 with my witch”
A very short history of Christmas trees
I have always been fond of those traditions we came up with to make it through the longest nights of the year. Even as teenager scaring everyone with my rebellious gothic looks, I loved the scent of cinnamon, baking cookies, putting up Christmas lights, as well as decorating a Christmas tree. I still remember myContinue reading “A very short history of Christmas trees”
Ready to fall apart?
“I’m not here to have myself under control”, my witch hisses at me, hiding another “winter apple” chocolate bar behind her back. Yes, the ones my dead grandmother loved so much. Tonight we’re thinking about something that is not gonna escalate.So not gonna.Promise. “Have you ever met someone … “ I start, ignoring the chocolateContinue reading “Ready to fall apart?”
About not being okay – Revisiting Dystopia
I took this photo in 2020, and I honestly don’t know what I was ever gonna use it for. Still, I like looking back on it. It was in July 2020, when my whole life had fallen apart, and I was living in a kind of void, questioning everything that I had done so far,Continue reading “About not being okay – Revisiting Dystopia”
On writing to survive in dreams!
When asked why I write, I used to say that I needed my characters to survive. Or, to see how to survive. My characters were going through things I could never imagine myself coping with, or things that I had to handle but was terribly overwhelmed by. They were like super heroes in my head,Continue reading “On writing to survive in dreams!”
Tale for fragile things
I don’t want to leave you.Please don’t leave me.I don’t think we’ll have to,we don’t have to break up.Our bodies do it for us.They are so fragile.We’re fragile things. This moment will pass.Please don’t let it go.I will breathe it in.I will store it inside,to have it haunt me,haunt the inside of my head,as aContinue reading “Tale for fragile things”
Mistress witch writes 