Those are not the skulls of competing women I murdered, I promise. When thinking about becoming a women, there are two moments of my teenage years that come to my mind immediately. And no, with this post I won’t tell you the story of my first period. Although periods have something to do with it.Continue reading “Apparently I’m a “pick-me” – girl – or “the toxic experience of being a woman””
Tag Archives: thoughts
I keep wondering why people do this to me …
I keep wondering what it is about myself that keeps people attacking me for my future plans. Is it that I’m a female? Is it that I look younger than I am? Is it that I have something about me people dislike? People in general approach me to tell me why my plans, workwise orContinue reading “I keep wondering why people do this to me …”
Why I once loved to watch sitcoms! A few memories.
I wanted to write about my old love for sitcoms for a while now, but of course had to wait for the saddest opportunity to do so, because it‘s me…„It‘s the comforting evening ritual and background chatter I used to get through the day before I knew how to summon you“, I tell my witchContinue reading “Why I once loved to watch sitcoms! A few memories.”
Nostalgia and fragility – A history – photo post!
Places can tell so many stories. Just think of all the things walls could give away about you, if they could talk and were able to remember.Some places that I have been to with my witch felt like a kind of fairytale that I would have liked to read when I was little. Some othersContinue reading “Nostalgia and fragility – A history – photo post!”
The painful reality of being a woman
I‘ve had a reason to celebrate lately!I faced the meanest monster. I have fought my demons for now. For a little while. Oh, now that I think about it too much, I tend to think that maybe I am a bit too happy, because life just keeps being a mess.But still – I thought IContinue reading “The painful reality of being a woman”
About the good things in life
„Against all odds“, where the words my witch and I were living by for a very long time, and I keep wondering what kind of life can be spent in the light of these words. It‘s the kind of words to whisper onto the horizon at night on a field, or with an open bottleContinue reading “About the good things in life”
Summer solstice thoughts!
„The days are already getting shorter“, I tell my witch, as we once again hurry to fall asleep before sunrise, after a long night of witching discussions, as the horizon is already painted in a faint red.„You‘ve promised to take me apple picking for years now“, my witch complains and I roll my eyes.She isContinue reading “Summer solstice thoughts!”
Dystopia mind
There is an iced latte in front of me and the sun is shining.My words to the person in front of me had been enough to fill pages, as well as to end the patience in the kind eyes looking at me.„You are catastrophizing again!“„Am I?“„Yes!“„But are you sure that I‘m not right?“Desperation sparkles uniquelyContinue reading “Dystopia mind”
Fertility thoughts!
I am sitting at my mother‘s kitchen table.The yellow wallpaper is glowing in the evening sun, while the radio got stuck in the 70s.We are having a late Espresso, and I catch a wave of empathy on my mother‘s face.„Women don‘t have it easy“, she says in deep contemplation. „The clock is ticking constantly andContinue reading “Fertility thoughts!”
Dystopia conclusion!
It has finally happened.The other day, I have read on the news that the pandemic is no longer a public health emergency. Was that the term? I hope so.I am not going to discuss whether this is right or wrong, or too early, but since the motivation to start this blog and my witching-writing-journey cameContinue reading “Dystopia conclusion!”
Facing the witching novel! A writing update
Tonight, I am thinking about what your main character means to you while writing, or reading!! Do you need a character that inspires you and has all kinds of qualities, or even just one important one, you wish you had? Or is it a flawed one that has a long journey of development ahead whichContinue reading “Facing the witching novel! A writing update”
Tale about the modern world
„How do you live in a world like this?“, I ask my witch one morning with an empty pot of coffee in hand. In a world with roads reaching further than eyes can see?With a forest growing over each and everyone’s head.With hilltops too high up to ever be climbed.Full of spirits to confuse you.LostContinue reading “Tale about the modern world”
Thoughts on inspiration
„Sometimes, it all makes sense“, I tell my witch.Not over a Vanilla Latte, or even a bottle of wine, this time.In moments like these it‘s not needed.„It all fits together. And I want to hold on to that feeling, before the world confuses me again.“„This sometimes is 4 AM?“, my witch giggles, and I haveContinue reading “Thoughts on inspiration”
Dystopia return
I have been at home for the first time in three years.And I really mean at home, with all the people that belong to it.At least those who are still alive (the number is shrinking …). And did it make me happy?Did it give me the same kind of energy as earlier?This positive energy toContinue reading “Dystopia return”
“I don’t want to be a tragedy.”
The coffee is cold.The cake untouched.„I don‘t want to be a tragedy.“ I don‘t want to be a tragedy,but this body was made offlesh and blood and bones!I want to feel the sun,with skin so fragile.I want to breathe in so deep,into lungs that could collapse.I want to love with a heart,ready to ache.What wereContinue reading ““I don’t want to be a tragedy.””
I don’t do well with endings!
I don‘t do well with endings. I remember myself not reading my favourite books over a certain point, because I didn‘t want to. I had enjoyed the setting as it had started and I was worried about all the development to come.What would change?The colors, the feeling?Where would my favourite characters go?Who would still beContinue reading “I don’t do well with endings!”
Tomorrow thoughts!
„Are these thoughts ever easy?“, I ask my witch over a midnight cup of coffee. Tomorrow, I hope to see you again.But, tomorrow will probably not be that day.Maybe a day after a tomorrow, another tomorrow. Will we have a tomorrow? „There probably are people that don‘t constantly eat their own brain“, Layla responds. „Somewhere.“„EvenContinue reading “Tomorrow thoughts!”
Stories in mind – why representation matters!
Tonight, I am wondering about the impact a story can have on our life! On our world view.How much they can or cannot shape the eyes we watch through.What we take from them wherever we go next. This keeps bothering, because recently I struggled more than before with representations I saw consumed so easily byContinue reading “Stories in mind – why representation matters!”
Deadline thoughts!
These are the thoughts of a perfectly sane – wait, no!I can‘t say that about myself anymore.But perfectly reasonable thoughts of a women – and my witch rolls her eyes at me.Yes, let‘s stick with person with a uterus, to not even try to hide our struggle.„And reasonable?“, Layla mocks me. „What about this isContinue reading “Deadline thoughts!”
Dystopia now
Since this was once my Dystopia diary, I recently had to think about how much my life changed in the past 3 years, or since the last normal winter, before things got kind of weird. How about you? Has your life changed a lot? On a longer train ride recently, I have (finally!) continued readingContinue reading “Dystopia now”
With needles and giggles
When the fire had burned down, she wished she could have loved as someone else. As the faithful housewife. As the promising young woman. When the last flames where crackling, she wished she had not loved as the witch. Equipped with needles. Once the storm was over, she wished she could have kissed as someoneContinue reading “With needles and giggles”
The witch and consequences
Some truths belong into candle light with a cup of tea, boiling hot and with sugar.Yes, witches need their sugar.And we’re not sorry. “When do you accept that you don’t always know the consequences of things”, my witch giggles, and as I scoff offended, the light dances and flickers.Of course I am aware of theContinue reading “The witch and consequences”
Dystopia twist
Seeing horrors happening in the world shapes a mind in terrifying ways. I would like to think that it is a shared interest to make any terrible thing in the world stop, or to prevent it from ever happening at all.A shared interest of us as human beings.Insert any horror you would like here.War.Plague.Climate disaster.…orContinue reading “Dystopia twist”
A magical moment!
Although I recently wrote about my rational view on things, I want to share a moment of magic that happened to me. This moment made me feel connected to the universe, to the time passing by and to the stars in the sky.The moment belonged to an empty, not very interesting day. That was goodContinue reading “A magical moment!”
A few autumn spells!
This post is an autumn spell! Autumn has for very long been my favourite season. I have always loved the rain, the storms and the colorful landscapes! The days are not too short yet, there is still a good chance to catch enough sunlight to have the energy to do things. Still, this year IContinue reading “A few autumn spells!”
About finding magic in things
When I told my mother about starting work at a museum and had told her a lot about archaeology and geology, she tried to bond with me through talking about crystals.Apparently, she has those that clean the air, and even those that reorganize the water molecules after they were poured into the glass with tooContinue reading “About finding magic in things”
For life to be good
„What do you want?“ Another rainy autumn day that was not cold enough to feel good is almost survived, as this question echoes through my head.„A pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot of espresso“, I repeat my words and wonder why the person behind the counter is looking so confused.„Another one?“ I blush andContinue reading “For life to be good”
About being alive
„I am bad at being alive.“ My witch would giggle with a shrug, thinking that these words were true for her as well, but already having fallen out of time anyway. My unicorn would agree but not be bothered at all, and another friend I amused too much with this today. I still think IContinue reading “About being alive”
Needy thoughts
These days, there are so many good reasons to be alone. Loneliness is being cultivated, as if it needed to be preserved for future days. Ever since the pandemic interrupted my life, I managed to have about 150 cups of coffee outside of my home. Most of them were a Vanilla Latte, while some whereContinue reading “Needy thoughts”
Tales a place can tell
When seeing a new place, I have to figure for a while what kind of tale it has to tell. Maybe I am a bit more thin skinned than others, but it can actually take me a while and stop my thoughts until I understood what exactly I‘m feeling and where my thoughts are goingContinue reading “Tales a place can tell”
Mistress witch writes 