Do you remember the last time?

Now that nothingness is taking over again, and at least where Layla and I live we are all sworn into facing the hardest months of the pandemic just now, I wonder how many last times of things I remember.

Let‘s start with this one:
The last time my friends forced me to sing karaoke with them.

It was in February of 2020. I had just decided to see my friends for a few evenings per month no matter what, because it really lowered my stress levels while studying and working (Timing!), and so we ended up in a Karaoke-Bar that I was not exactly fond of.
I did not like it when they brought me there, chose their songs to mess up and asked me to sing as well. Since I had been playing music for most parts of my life, I actually could sing, but the fun and entertainment aspect of singing in front of a drunk bar was just something I did not want to try.

But this night, after a few drinks, my friends had convinced me.

So there I was. A bit drunk and glad my boys were with me I decided to sing Tori Amos‘ song „Winter.“ I would have been to shy had the room not already started spinning. I did not look anyone directly into the face. All the others had sung something happy and fast, and here I was the strange and insecure girl with a ballad like that.

But it felt really good.

For 3 years I had refused to sing in front of my friends, and now it felt so good.

„…I tell you that I always want you near. You say that things change, my dear.“

It felt like it was the beginning of something special. I had gotten over myself and had felt safe enough with my friends to sing a song that carried memories that defined my world by then.

But it was the end of everything.

“And you had to summon me when all the fun was over”, my witch complained from across the kitchen counter, where she had found another chocolate bar. “I wish I could sing a world to end.”