Have enough of our loved ones been absorbed by plague, war, and the general collapse of things for us to pose as a baroque painting? My witch said yes, so just think of all the pretty things we‘re gonna get now! Just like Emilie Autumn once sang about pretty dresses and hair when expecting to die soon – priorities!
So, for me it looks like I will wear my corset once more and my cheeks will be rose and my lips will be red and I will wear pearls between sculls rolling around. What more can I even ask for?
Oh, yea. Right. There‘s the thing with the loved once that, well, once have been and more and more are not anymore. Those in mass graves, and those otherwise absorbed by the horror of being alive right now, but hey! A few hundred years ago this also lead to people wanting to feel pretty and painting sculls into things to just not completely exclude death from everything. My witch can tell!
It‘s so fucking hard to love someone in a world collapsing. What do I even say? Do I pet their head and lie about things ever being fine, or do I shock them with passion and ask to take me one last time and send these words right into their bleeding heart? Tough choice! And, oh! There‘s also another option.
I could just accept to lose them.
Lose them to death.
Lose them to life.
Because I found them in a world that once was better.
He lives in a world made of waffles and cinnamon, and she lives in a world with sculls rolling around.
You can‘t have both, boy
You can‘t have both.
„So, all of this is about avoiding to lose someone?“, the nice man in the nice blue shirt asked me recently. And I was avoiding eye contact with my therapist through my freshly blow dried, long red hair.
At least I feel pretty.
Why I am not a nice girl
I am not your nice, Christian girl next door, as you might have noticed. And this is not a role I play for this blogging project, or to promote my writing and music. This is me, and I stick to it, even when it gets complicated, and believe me: It becomes an issue more often…
Intimate tale
I yearn for those moments,When I existedsolelyin your eyes.When I wasnothingBut an image causingCuriosity.I lived in those momentsWhen you knewNothingAbout the scarsBetween myThighs.Moments that werePure and softAnd kept mySecretWithout anyFalsity.In those momentsI felt loveFor all the thingsYou mustn’tKnow.All the thingsWent looseWithin myHeadAnd found their wayOnto myTongue.I still amThese momentsWhen I hadYouAnd you deniedThe thingsI wanted…
The tale of mental health in a burning world
“Wanna feel better?”, my witch asks me as she presents tonight’s options. Do we want to get drunk and risk a headache? Do we want to try out yoga again although we’ve never managed to take it seriously? Do we want to escape the last traces of reality by watching a sitcom and ignoring the…