I am still done with letting her world crash.
I mean, the first part of the witching novel, of course.
My goal of telling the whole life story of a witch in central Europe in the 17th century has the challenge of including all the different stages of life. That does not just pose the difficulty of choosing when to best jump forward in time and leave out a couple of months or even years, but also demands a complexity. All of these different stages in life need to be examined close enough to be worth telling about! The childhood as a daughter of a wealthy craftsman in an early modern city, the young woman unhappily married, and, in her case of course, the collapse of this life under disasters of the 17th century, and what, in her magical case, came afterwards.
Sometimes, I think I should be done with this by now.
All the little tales about this child slowly developing a lot of important witching features should be easier to write. Also, I have already planned out how her marriage is gonna become a prison for her to have miscarriages in, as well as her affairs to escape (risking at least her life).
But I kind of got into hesitation again.
I stopped writing one day, because I emotionally did not really want to go there.
Then, I picked up little things from these chapters and turned them into poetry instead, but also poetry does not come easy these past few weeks, and since I noticed that, I asked myself again if everything was already lined out clear enough and I should just write myself through it.
And yes, of course, to finish the novel, I just have to write myself through that! But I also like to think about how it makes me hesitate, and how each little detail of this wealthy and well-planned life gone Dystopia holds a fascination for me that makes me get lost and switch to poetry.
Crashing worlds is never easy, and I cannot force myself to be done with it, yet.
I have always been a slow writer. Always exploring everything philosophically, emotionally. Always growing with my characters, and creating a place to throw my emotions and my most urgent thoughts into.
Deadlines kill my creativity.
But for the sake of this novel to one day finally be out there and published, I will of course continue!
So, my summary for this stage of the witching novel is „Crashing world is never easy“ …
… and I think it is not supposed to be.
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Once you were thereTwo minutes afterWith coffee and rainI will rememberThe way that we wereThe world has felt whole. Once we were thereIt was a ThursdayWith tea and a smileI will always rememberIt made me forgetThat the world has got holes. I want this to beThe one thingTo hold on toTo fill up the holesWe…