“We’re not daughters, we’re the most unreasonable demand walking”, my witch giggles, as we peel ourselves out of our old skin.
“I’m not sure, I ever was a daughter”, I respond, not grinning into a bottle of wine this time, because a migraine is beginning.
I am done with being a daughter.
People say they want their daughters to be pretty, but not pretty enough to stand out in a crowd. They want them to look nice, but the kind of nice that is forgotten after a few moments. Otherwise she might get raped, or if not then at least have other dating options than the nice boy next door. She might even gain confidence to ruthlessly explore sex, oh no!
People want their daughters to be educated, but not too much. She is supposed to have a reasonable degree on her résumé, probably something to work with children or in a lower level of responsibility in an office. She should not be clever enough to mathematically prove that the earth is a sphere, because even though you know it’s true, this is too much.
People want their daughters to live nearby, and come over for coffee and all of these useless Christian holidays we torment ourselves with. A daughter is not supposed to have a career that demands her to travel the world, or live a few hours far away. Otherwise, how often are they gonna see their grandchildren?!
People want their daughters to be nice and friendly, without too much expertise or strong opinions. Just an empty shell that looks good in a picture frame but is easily forgotten.
I am not a daughter. I dress up however the fuck I want and people remember me by my long red hair and my massive boots. I am so well educated, I can destroy the delusions of people within minutes, and I am not shy to do so. I live far away, occasionally work abroad, and will raise my future children wherever I happen to be. I have strong political opinions, and I don’t fit the picture frame. I am not a potential victim. I walk through the forest at night and tell the world to fuck off. So not a daughter.
Honestly, what this means for me should I ever have a daughter, I am not sure. I just know that I am not one.
“There are so many things in this world to see and feel”, my witch giggles into the night as we transform into something new. “Why be a daughter and be denied the right to feel?”
Mistress witch writes 
The eternal question of what a daughter should be like (read as “someone else”). This world is too dangerous to be a girl. I could have had a daughter, and I…I don’t know. Sometimes it seems to me that my heart would have broken before she grew up. The feeling that you are raising a child in a city where war will go on all her life. And you don’t know whether you will see her at 10 or 15. Will she manage to live to at least 20 years old, without the burden of trauma that this world will provide her with. As they say in one movie “this world was created for love, but it is not adapted for love”.
I apologize for my comment if it is inappropriate..
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Thank you so much! It’s not inappropriate at all!
I have never been at war, so I can’t say I know how it is. I have people in Kyiv that I care for and root for everyday. I agree that the world seems to become more dangerous and so much more unstable than 20, 30 years ago, and it opens up so many new questions. I would also fear for my sons, to be honest, because they would grow up in a world in which them going to war is very likely. But I think I would still prefer them to be there at all. When in the pandemic I lost many important people without really saying Goodbye to them, I sometimes thought it would have been better to not be born at all, or for them to have died a bit sooner to not witness this dark time at all, but I am not sure that would have been better. Life is always against all odds, I think.
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War, shells, drones and missiles are not as scary as the actions of people. And they can be scary outside of war (I have every right to say this from this point of view, since Kyiv is about 320 kilometers from me, and the country that attacked is only 40, but it doesn’t matter). I don’t want to talk about war at all (and my thoughts in the previous comment were no longer about war, but about the danger of the world as a whole), but what scares me most is that my childhood friends, relatives, have children who are now about 17 years old. It’s scary to understand that they can become part of all this.
I would prefer to think that your children will not become part of the war machine and will be born in times when the world will be calmer and more understandable. In general, I think that parental love can protect a child from a lot and show him a different world, regardless of the world around him. The whole secret is in love for a child. Sincere. Perhaps war is not as scary as being born into a family where you are not loved. Isn’t that the scariest thing?..
P.S. I am delighted by the thought that there are other people who keep their own blog, share their thoughts, the world. Even more delighted by people who are comprehensively creatively gifted. Don’t miss people who are no longer in one way or another. Catch the light in these dark times and bright people. And everything will be fine with you 🙂
Thank you for your creativity and response, it is very valuable! 🙂
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