„That was sweet“, my witch said as we were looking at old photographs of me having curly hair and being in love with Mr. Rainbow, „But seriously, it had to go wrong.“Old! I did not want them to be old! I had wanted to look like Tori Amos in 1996 and therefor had slept withContinue reading “Cinnamon and memories at night”
Tag Archives: personal
Thoughts on writing historical fiction
Why are there even people still alive in this world? No, that is not my only thought on writing historical fiction, but it were thoughts like that which in the end led to starting this project. For a very long time, I had mostly been interested in writing science fiction. I dreamed of mega citiesContinue reading “Thoughts on writing historical fiction”
Tale about unspoken things
Sometimes, I want to throw it all at him and see it mirror in his eyes. How I am done living in this world. How I will not ever trust a single thing to not leave me from one moment to the other. How I keep myself busy to not have the time to findContinue reading “Tale about unspoken things”
A lucky knot in this weird universe
I am going to collect everything that is not broken yet, and put all the lucky knots of this weird universe in one place, for once. „Are you already done with everything that‘s broken?“, Layla is mocking me. No, I am not. How could I. Things that break lay scattered into thousands of shards andContinue reading “A lucky knot in this weird universe”
Demons for dating
Witches fall in love with tragedies, and being loved by a witch has an awful lot to do with empty bottles and things happening only in thoughts and dreams.But witches are supposed to have options, right? These beings that bend the borders of reality have to have some options out of this world and forContinue reading “Demons for dating”
Isolation call
Today, I called different people, because I really just needed to call someone and hear another person‘s voice and feel a little less alone. I called my grandmother, because her birthday was last sunday and she did not pick up the phone by then (can old people please stop doing this while a virus isContinue reading “Isolation call”
Why I write about witches
I have already written about how I summoned Layla, the witch living in my kitchen during the pandemic, with chocolate and wine, and sometimes with ice cream, and how we had the dark kind of fun, and were missing our boys, always good for a tale about surviving Dystopia. But I think, this might beContinue reading “Why I write about witches”
Tale about ice cream and wine
There is a path that I need to take, from time to time.Maybe, because once I have been walking on it through the most passionate rain in early spring.Or maybe, because I needed to walk down that particular path to buy ice cream and wine for one of the best nights of my life.Or, becauseContinue reading “Tale about ice cream and wine”
Being alive is a horror, sometimes.
A hot chocolate for me.Tea for my witch.„Being alive is a really bad idea.“ We are sitting on cushions between boxes and furniture to be put into place, while only the bright light on the ceiling is available.„But people keep doing so“, my witch answers.„Because sometimes it feels really good.“I don‘t have to mention thatContinue reading “Being alive is a horror, sometimes.”
Dystopia goes on
I am sitting on the couch and I can‘t move. My feet are wet and dry socks are just two steps away from me. But I don‘t want to move, because once I‘ve moved, I would also have to bring the laundry into the basement and put it up to dry, and also get theContinue reading “Dystopia goes on”
These empty months
Nights grew longer, and lights began to shine and twinkle and burn as they only ever did when autumn arrived. My witch and I were thinking about how all these empty months had been, and how even they had been filled with things, just not the things that had been expected. Not with certain wordsContinue reading “These empty months”
“At least let me be dead inside.”
„I don‘t care. I‘m dead inside, remember?“ A decision had been made. The leaves were orange and red as they flew by my window, while raindrops painted into the view. Before me on the table lay two wooden needles and wool in shades of copper. For the perfect autumn feeling, I would need a hotContinue reading ““At least let me be dead inside.””
“If I let you hurt me, I’ll be one of your pretty girls.”
Today, I‘m going to be brave. Just as brave as my witch. I have found my nice man with a needle, and I will be strong.„If I let you hurt me, I‘ll be one of your pretty girls,, right?“, I sing to myself, while taking off the black dress with the purple ribbons. Way tooContinue reading ““If I let you hurt me, I’ll be one of your pretty girls.””
Life is unfair. Death even more.
Layla wanted chocolate.After having her around for months, this did not really surprise me, anymore.But this one night, she did not only want chocolate, and also not only wine. She was reaching for the marshmallows and put one on a pencil to melt it over a vanilla scented candle when she asked. „Can I borrowContinue reading “Life is unfair. Death even more.”
Violet and sugar
When autumn arrived, I took my witch shopping. We strolled through a city emptied and distanced. We were not distanced. We were close. Really close. When it began to rain, she giggled into my ear, and we got wet.The lights so beautifully bright, because autumn made them brighter, as every year.We bought face masks withContinue reading “Violet and sugar”
A leaking soul
I bleed like Vanilla. Why is he not here to lick my leaking soul? My leaking soul that loses sweet daydreams everywhere it goes as small drops of joy turning into a sea to drown in. Why aren‘t his eyes, his lips, his hands closer to the hole that opened up, that his presence openedContinue reading “A leaking soul”
Dreams against nothing
But what do daydreams really mean? April had seemed like an eternity, and suddenly it was almost May. The first nights had kept their summer heat, potatoes and strawberries were planted … Oh, and face masks were starting to get obligatory in public. Oh shit, it‘s already May. We‘ve lost our spirit of life inContinue reading “Dreams against nothing”
Sweet survival
I summoned Layla to survive. To survive the darkness. The night. The longest night that I‘ve ever had to survive. A night that has not ended, yet. And while I am typing, new aspects of this night are taking over me. My head, the depth of my chest, and so I put them onto theContinue reading “Sweet survival”
What keeps Layla awake
Daily life was a song to Layla. It was a melody taking over something deep inside. But what does that mean? When asking her, Layla opens up another bottle of wine and takes a gulp. Then she laughs about my concerned expression. „I couldn‘t care less“, she would say and her red hair would flyContinue reading “What keeps Layla awake”
She only exists at 4 AM
Starting at the beginning sounds good. After all, this is supposed to be a diary. The diary of a modern witch. A writing witch. A uterus-carrying being trying to survive this world. But in Layla‘s case, it is difficult to find the beginning. It is difficult to say when she is there and when sheContinue reading “She only exists at 4 AM”
Mistress witch writes 