„Why are bad things even allowed to happen?“, I have asked my witch more than just once during my sleepless nights, and she has giggled wisely, because that was something she had made the world wonder about so very often.
And so Layla laughed. „If she ever was supposed to be Daddy‘s girl and has simply gone rogue, then how could he have ever witnessed it and let her? Was he even a real Daddy after all?“
Witches are those beings that break the rules of the world and turn it into something bad, remember? To accomplish their wicked goals, they need their demon bonded closely to them, for otherwise their human nature would never be able to do so. Oh, these witching facts sound like ice cream and wine, and I did not have anything like it for far too long!
„But that‘s the thing“, my witch interrupts me from behind while I open up the fridge somewhere between early in the morning and deep at night. „Why would even the demon or the devil himself be allowed to do anything bad? Aren‘t we promised a Daddy to watch over us all?“ As I curl up into my bed under the fairy lights on the purple walls, holding my bottle of wine and enjoying ice cream, I have to agree: We all do want that.
„Oh, but Daddy finds a way allow all things bad and evil in his universe“, my witch continues her tale. „He might just say the universe has to be whole. Or even that is has to be in balance. But the real reason is so much more simple, and so much more painful.“
And I sit up, and I want her to tell me why we never were protected and cared for and guided, but exposed to shadows and pain and nightmares scratching all over our skin.
„Because some things are so good, you don‘t ever have to argue for them to be, or even compare to them to something else“, Layla responds. „We can all think of someone who was always the sweetest girl ever, and no one ever doubted the rightfulness of her existence, right?“
Oh yes, who does not have someone like that in their minds! I can practically see Daddy patting her head.
„Since you don‘t have to question or proof the good things, for they‘re good simply out of themselves, you have ask for what is bad“, my witch continued. „And bad is everything that is different than Daddy‘s one version of good. A single step out of line, and you are not his girl anymore.“
That seems to be a truth a witch has to learn to live with.
She was never bad out of her own strength.
She was just different than the one version of good which everyone could recognize.
I wish I’d told you all my stories.
I want to tell you all my storiesIt’s not that they would changeIt’s just that I would likeTo see themFormA new expressionOn your face I need to tell you all my storiesI am not sureIf they makeSenseThe way I thoughtThey do. I will tell you all my storiesThey frighten meI’m sure you won’t endureI see…
Dealing with darkness in writing
This spring afternoon is glowing pink and tastes like strong tea. It feels much too familiar, and I begin to open up.I feel far away from myself as I start to talk, to babble on about my novel. About all the things I’ve been reading about in the past 5 years. About the 17th century,…
Radical witching novel rewrites at 4 AM!
I wore the same night dress my witch used to wear to get drunk on my windowsill, when I suddenly had an idea at 4 AM. Great ideas always happen at 4 AM, remember? This one however, kept me awake for at least a week, debating it back and forth. At some point my witch…
Mistress witch writes 