One thing I have always needed my witch for were choices.
I had always felt as if I was able to define myself through the choices I made and also had seen my witch as someone without this chance in life. I always thought that she was born into a world that determined it all. That totally determined her experience, her sense of things, and left no second to think which turn to take. And as a modern person, of course my choices determined me. What I ate, how I looked, who I had sex with.
All choices.
All big parts of me.
But tonight, I really wished I could have chosen not to be sad. I really wished I could have taken just one more deep breath and swallowed all of those feelings piling up in my chest, but I could not. Just as well as I sometimes cannot decide to fall asleep from one second to the other, although it‘s already 3 AM again as I‘m typing these words. When I was feeling a bit lonely the other day, a friend reminded me that it was never too late to make new friends, and after hearing those words, I found myself stranded in a flooded train station, surrounded by strangers but no one to talk to, and my favourite choice would have been to find someone with something written on their face that made it easier for me to say a word to them.
This makes me wonder if my witch truly never chose a path? Did she not climb the city wall one fateful night? Did she not choose cushions in the color of a heartfelt memory?
I know that she did. And while I am dreaming of choices I don‘t have this night, I remember hers and try to accept that it will always be the struggle of the complex tapestry of a mind trying to find a place in a weird version of this world.
… and I wonder if I really could have chosen not to eat a chocolate cupcake in the middle of this boring night.
A witch with no regrets
This night feels cozy.Midnight has passed.No sleep, but another cup of tea in vanilla scented candlelight.“Are you saying you have no regrets?”, my witch giggles. When I was younger, I was often warned that I would regret the things that I did. I remember being 10 years old and finally telling my family that I…
Heavy rain and zombie fire – A small town of resilience part 2
This is a hopeful post, although it might not look like it at first. Recently, the region I am living in is experiencing a historical wildfire, and it was getting terrifyingly close to the city that gave me a lot of inspiration to write my witching novel. The town is called Monschau, and who is…
What the stars can do to us
“Are you really lucky enough to miss out on a few shooting stars?”, my witch asks as I try to fall asleep. Well, who of us ever is? We had seen 6 very bright shooting stars, but I was getting cold and tired. Can I afford to sleep during the peak of the perseids? I…
Mistress witch writes 
Yup.. Earth is a place of making choices based upon our free will. In the end, it’s just about the experiences and lessons learned, I opine. All the best.🙏🏻💕🙏🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person