Although I recently wrote about my rational view on things, I want to share a moment of magic that happened to me. This moment made me feel connected to the universe, to the time passing by and to the stars in the sky.The moment belonged to an empty, not very interesting day. That was goodContinue reading “A magical moment!”
Category Archives: Dystopia diary
A few autumn spells!
This post is an autumn spell! Autumn has for very long been my favourite season. I have always loved the rain, the storms and the colorful landscapes! The days are not too short yet, there is still a good chance to catch enough sunlight to have the energy to do things. Still, this year IContinue reading “A few autumn spells!”
About finding magic in things
When I told my mother about starting work at a museum and had told her a lot about archaeology and geology, she tried to bond with me through talking about crystals.Apparently, she has those that clean the air, and even those that reorganize the water molecules after they were poured into the glass with tooContinue reading “About finding magic in things”
For life to be good
„What do you want?“ Another rainy autumn day that was not cold enough to feel good is almost survived, as this question echoes through my head.„A pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot of espresso“, I repeat my words and wonder why the person behind the counter is looking so confused.„Another one?“ I blush andContinue reading “For life to be good”
About being alive
„I am bad at being alive.“ My witch would giggle with a shrug, thinking that these words were true for her as well, but already having fallen out of time anyway. My unicorn would agree but not be bothered at all, and another friend I amused too much with this today. I still think IContinue reading “About being alive”
Needy thoughts
These days, there are so many good reasons to be alone. Loneliness is being cultivated, as if it needed to be preserved for future days. Ever since the pandemic interrupted my life, I managed to have about 150 cups of coffee outside of my home. Most of them were a Vanilla Latte, while some whereContinue reading “Needy thoughts”
Thoughts on where in time we are
How does a time come to an end?Do we really just wake up one morning and autumn has left its scent everywhere when yesterday it had been summer, just as Tucholsky once wrote?Or have there been signs we tend to ignore?The early sunsets and colder nights?Rain clouding the horizon over the fields –Until one tragicContinue reading “Thoughts on where in time we are”
The fictional reality of being a witch
„As witches, we are too fictional for them“, Layla giggles into my ear as we order the third Vanilla Latte of this rainy summer afternoon, all while wearing a white dress that now that we‘re among other people more and more feels unfitting.„I‘m wearing a night dress“, I complain. „Or, a hospital gone.“„How is thatContinue reading “The fictional reality of being a witch”
Thoughts on choices
One thing I have always needed my witch for were choices. I had always felt as if I was able to define myself through the choices I made and also had seen my witch as someone without this chance in life. I always thought that she was born into a world that determined it all.Continue reading “Thoughts on choices”
About feeling alive in difficult times
Lately, I have found an almost forgotten joy in being alive again. For me that meant sitting in my favourite coffee place again, after a long time without daring to do so. Carefully stepping inside, ordering a drink to go and drinking it alone in a corner outside was the only I sometimes granted myselfContinue reading “About feeling alive in difficult times”
Tale about existing
„Deeper in the existential dread.“That was not the answer my witch had expected when asking for the sparkling wine.„Refrigerator“, I say. „Means, existential dread.“ I just hate refrigerators.They‘re always chubby and big, and wrong in the picture. Even those that aren‘t white. I once saw a pink one at a party, and I still feltContinue reading “Tale about existing”
Dystopia achievements
Living through a tale means this one has not been told yet.There are so many possible endings. Endings to be yearned for, and also those to be feared to appear at the horizon one day. And there also are moments in which it is in doubt whether this tale is about to happen at all,Continue reading “Dystopia achievements”
Skin needs to feel
This one is about wanting to feel everything, but escaping the pain.About needing the world to release the right sensation deep within.Because skin needs to feel it!But please, skip the pain! One of the few classical German writers I ever liked to read once asked in one of his poems where he was supposed toContinue reading “Skin needs to feel”
What is left to feel?
Have you ever felt a hope that burned so bright and was risking so much that it completely absorbed you?I have felt such a hope very recently.It was not a happy feeling, not a good one as such. It was defiant. It meant fighting what I thought the world was telling me. I wanted toContinue reading “What is left to feel?”
Post-Dystopia silence
Now that I have things back to sooth my soul, I have to wonder whether I‘m actually soothing it or simply numbing myself. „No really“, I tell my witch, as I empty another glass bottle over the kitchen sink. „I‘d like to feel things again. Like, anything. And also, I got all these recipes wrong.“Continue reading “Post-Dystopia silence”
About the instability of things
Living during what could easily be the end of the longest era of (more or less) global stability has an awful lot of things to do with people either not realizing it, or enjoying the collapse of things far too much. To the first ones: Do you remember this proverb about setting things free? ThisContinue reading “About the instability of things”
Manic Dystopia
Have enough of our loved ones been absorbed by plague, war, and the general collapse of things for us to pose as a baroque painting? My witch said yes, so just think of all the pretty things we‘re gonna get now! Just like Emilie Autumn once sang about pretty dresses and hair when expecting toContinue reading “Manic Dystopia”
The myth of Dystopia
Do you remember the meme that made the round a few years ago and was about how our grandparents apparently described their way to school?Barefoot through a blizzard, fighting off wild animals and all of that on their own?Or, have you ever come across this weird saying about difficult times making great people … and,Continue reading “The myth of Dystopia”
Post against war
I can smell sweat and acrylic paint, and my hand aches from holding on to a wooden handle for a few hours too long. A heavy weight on my chest has eased for at least a few breaths after all of this and I feel a strange love for all the people around me. TheContinue reading “Post against war”
Witching healings
Once there were nights whose deep blue was sparkling and was vibrating on that frequency of a wonderful melody. Those sparkles were a warm and cozy orange, and the melody was one to lift you up without ever losing hold. Those nights tasted like ice cream and wine and had sugar sprinkles on them. „So,Continue reading “Witching healings”
Stomping through Dystopia
Have you ever set something on fire? Or someone? Or, do you think there is someone who would really like to burn you? How many people exactly do you think would like to see you burn?My witch giggles over my left shoulder. „You own small talk“, she states.I definitely know that I don‘t.But that‘s notContinue reading “Stomping through Dystopia”
Tales to tell my witch (because Daddy was mean).
Some things I can only ever tell my witch. Such things as whispering „I should buy that red velvet dress, because my boss was such a bitch again“, when it‘s 4 in the morning and the after midnight pizza had already emptied by bank account. It‘s a great relief to have a witch by yourContinue reading “Tales to tell my witch (because Daddy was mean).”
About all the wrong moments in time
The moment when something is wrong likes to arrive with a drumming. A deep and sudden drumming that can be felt deep in the stomach … Or even only there? I have been close to writing the first moment in the life of my witch when something was seriously wrong, but something kept me fromContinue reading “About all the wrong moments in time”
Finding the right spell
What I miss most about my old life are the little rituals I had.I know that my second life as a witch the pandemic brought upon me appears to have a lot of those. Witches have their potions, right? You can just knock on their door with the most secret and desperate desires of yourContinue reading “Finding the right spell”
Overly dramatic december post!
„I only have one regret“, I tell my unicorn at 4 Am while talking two times as fast and three times as high as usual. „I never had cotton candy hair!“ And we both keep on needle felting our pastel colored hearts to give away for another sad Christmas. „A youth in the 2010s withoutContinue reading “Overly dramatic december post!”
One night to have it all
This one is about a night that almost felt normal. Normal enough to feel dizzy and tell my witch that I just sang in front of people.„I sang“, I am repeating myself, while it is freezing outside and I forgot my coat somewhere but couldn‘t care less. „I sang in front of people, just asContinue reading “One night to have it all”
Dystopia blossoming – impressions from the witching garden
My thoughts today are in my witching garden. I don‘t even have a garden, but for some time within the past lockdowns I have helped a friend with his while hiding away in there from everything going on around me, and since my sweat pants radius has grown with each of these times for aContinue reading “Dystopia blossoming – impressions from the witching garden”
Reality in Dystopia!
If you‘re rushing fast enough, you will stop to see colors, or to distinguish noises. Everything becomes a blur with no real shapes in it.No real moments, no real experiences, and no real feelings.That sounds quite, convenient, right? To just never engage in anything long enough for it to really leave an impression, a traceContinue reading “Reality in Dystopia!”
Pandemic thoughts
Finally, I figured out the accident the pandemic is regularly causing within my head. This does not make it any better, but since I don‘t know what else to do with it, I thought I‘d share it! Whenever I read news concerning it, I feel like losing my mind. I run crazy, I climb highwayContinue reading “Pandemic thoughts”
Witching houses – a photo-thread!
Some say, witching houses are what you will find, if you get lost in the forest.Some say, they taste delicious, but that their taste comes with a price. For me, witching houses are a place to throw your heart at, once it does not fit anywhere else in this world anymore. They shine lights atContinue reading “Witching houses – a photo-thread!”
