I am still thinking about why this year has been so tough on me. Tough enough for witching wine nights and starting to blog about them. To understand that, I have to look a few years back, when I had moved away from everyone I had ever known and attended university. I was full ofContinue reading “Fragility”
Tag Archives: diary
The perfect year for witching
„I used to have those yellow lights in my windows, too“, I say to my witch as we take a walk late at night and find our haunted houses on the way decorated with beautiful Christmas lights. „But of course I hate these things from now on.“„Sure.“ I had to admit that this December nightContinue reading “The perfect year for witching”
I want to say something
Can I say something?I want to say something.Please, let me say something. Let me say something in a voice that you like.With a nice voice.With a voice to be heard,without sounding hard. Listen to my voice as a voice that you like.Listen to my voice that you likewhile I say that I have to sayContinue reading “I want to say something”
Caught in candy
„Something has been lost“, I say to my witch. „Something that has been just as essential as food and rest, and I‘m still expected to function.„Just stop functioning“, Layla says and eats her violet cloud. I am certain that I already have. I have been through months of screaming at night on a field, andContinue reading “Caught in candy”
Hope is furious
„It‘s time to wear black and be sad.“My witch and I perfectly agreed with 13 year old me. Being 25 years old in 2020 felt surprisingly similar. Whatever would make me happy, or a little lesser sad, was not available anymore. „It‘s constant darkness, and I‘m still running around looking for a light that isContinue reading “Hope is furious”
Drowning is what witches do
We are drowning again.Maybe, this is just what witches do. It‘s 9 AM and I have to get up, while my witch is asleep, curled up in a short night dress on my arm chair by the window. Lucky witch. And suddenly, it‘s far into the afternoon, and I wonder how time can fly byContinue reading “Drowning is what witches do”
Why I summoned my witch
„Every family has an odd one“, my witch said as I posed in front of the mirror while wearing my new mask that matched the brand new underwear that I had bought. „My hair had always been the brightest and the curliest.“ In our very first wine nights, we had already discussed where Layla hadContinue reading “Why I summoned my witch”
Cinnamon and memories at night
„That was sweet“, my witch said as we were looking at old photographs of me having curly hair and being in love with Mr. Rainbow, „But seriously, it had to go wrong.“Old! I did not want them to be old! I had wanted to look like Tori Amos in 1996 and therefor had slept withContinue reading “Cinnamon and memories at night”
An attempt to postpone starvation
I summoned my witch with wine and chocolate, but when I was roaming the store once more, I found a green sparkling wine that looked really interesting. I also bought frozen strawberries, because they were part of my favorite cupcake recipe. For that recipe, I did need other things, too, and so I bought eggs,Continue reading “An attempt to postpone starvation”
A lucky knot in this weird universe
I am going to collect everything that is not broken yet, and put all the lucky knots of this weird universe in one place, for once. „Are you already done with everything that‘s broken?“, Layla is mocking me. No, I am not. How could I. Things that break lay scattered into thousands of shards andContinue reading “A lucky knot in this weird universe”
Isolation call
Today, I called different people, because I really just needed to call someone and hear another person‘s voice and feel a little less alone. I called my grandmother, because her birthday was last sunday and she did not pick up the phone by then (can old people please stop doing this while a virus isContinue reading “Isolation call”
Being alive is a horror, sometimes.
A hot chocolate for me.Tea for my witch.„Being alive is a really bad idea.“ We are sitting on cushions between boxes and furniture to be put into place, while only the bright light on the ceiling is available.„But people keep doing so“, my witch answers.„Because sometimes it feels really good.“I don‘t have to mention thatContinue reading “Being alive is a horror, sometimes.”
Dystopia goes on
I am sitting on the couch and I can‘t move. My feet are wet and dry socks are just two steps away from me. But I don‘t want to move, because once I‘ve moved, I would also have to bring the laundry into the basement and put it up to dry, and also get theContinue reading “Dystopia goes on”
These empty months
Nights grew longer, and lights began to shine and twinkle and burn as they only ever did when autumn arrived. My witch and I were thinking about how all these empty months had been, and how even they had been filled with things, just not the things that had been expected. Not with certain wordsContinue reading “These empty months”
“At least let me be dead inside.”
„I don‘t care. I‘m dead inside, remember?“ A decision had been made. The leaves were orange and red as they flew by my window, while raindrops painted into the view. Before me on the table lay two wooden needles and wool in shades of copper. For the perfect autumn feeling, I would need a hotContinue reading ““At least let me be dead inside.””
“If I let you hurt me, I’ll be one of your pretty girls.”
Today, I‘m going to be brave. Just as brave as my witch. I have found my nice man with a needle, and I will be strong.„If I let you hurt me, I‘ll be one of your pretty girls,, right?“, I sing to myself, while taking off the black dress with the purple ribbons. Way tooContinue reading ““If I let you hurt me, I’ll be one of your pretty girls.””
Life is unfair. Death even more.
Layla wanted chocolate.After having her around for months, this did not really surprise me, anymore.But this one night, she did not only want chocolate, and also not only wine. She was reaching for the marshmallows and put one on a pencil to melt it over a vanilla scented candle when she asked. „Can I borrowContinue reading “Life is unfair. Death even more.”
Violet and sugar
When autumn arrived, I took my witch shopping. We strolled through a city emptied and distanced. We were not distanced. We were close. Really close. When it began to rain, she giggled into my ear, and we got wet.The lights so beautifully bright, because autumn made them brighter, as every year.We bought face masks withContinue reading “Violet and sugar”
Dreams against nothing
But what do daydreams really mean? April had seemed like an eternity, and suddenly it was almost May. The first nights had kept their summer heat, potatoes and strawberries were planted … Oh, and face masks were starting to get obligatory in public. Oh shit, it‘s already May. We‘ve lost our spirit of life inContinue reading “Dreams against nothing”
What keeps Layla awake
Daily life was a song to Layla. It was a melody taking over something deep inside. But what does that mean? When asking her, Layla opens up another bottle of wine and takes a gulp. Then she laughs about my concerned expression. „I couldn‘t care less“, she would say and her red hair would flyContinue reading “What keeps Layla awake”
She only exists at 4 AM
Starting at the beginning sounds good. After all, this is supposed to be a diary. The diary of a modern witch. A writing witch. A uterus-carrying being trying to survive this world. But in Layla‘s case, it is difficult to find the beginning. It is difficult to say when she is there and when sheContinue reading “She only exists at 4 AM”
Mistress witch writes 