I am sitting on a field at night.The second lockdown has already lasted many months and spring is arriving. This time, I am not alone with my witch. A real other person is there with me. I am having a friend with me.We are hiding after curfew far away from the street. „If we walkContinue reading “The witch and Dystopia”
Tag Archives: Dystopia
Tale about life and death
„I want to live so much, it makes me want to die“, I tell my witch as we sit on a field covered in dust on the longest evening of the year. I wantthe rain to touch my soulthe lights to burn my thoughtsand dreams to escape into beyond. I wantto live to taste yourContinue reading “Tale about life and death”
Witch facing the world
I wrote about the world making sense of us not so long ago.This can be tough, because it is not always the kind of sense that we would like it to be. It also can simply be unfair, or sad! Since I don‘t know how to deal with the sense the world is trying toContinue reading “Witch facing the world”
About feeling too much
„This heart is beating too fast“, a cold voice states, and I would be laughing had I not been out of breath already. Life gets difficult when you are feeling too much. Or, more than the average person in that exact moment. Many terms we use to describe each other consist of a number beingContinue reading “About feeling too much”
About feeling this body
Summer nights have always made me sad.They always make me wonder about what has come to an end already and what may come next.The long and blue evenings, sometimes with a touch of red, always make me want to run right into it, and listen to music while having the taste of wine on myContinue reading “About feeling this body”
A question to the universe
„I’m not sure how I‘m gonna make it, just know that I‘m gonna“, I repeat the words of my witch and I know that I will be telling this myself every two minutes for the next few days. Those were the words of my witch, when she was wearing a white gown.Covered insweat and dirtandContinue reading “A question to the universe”
Being loved as a witch
Being loved as a witchmeans you are my shadowas I will be yoursonce the sun has set. Being loved as a witchmeans that we share this scarand we know who we areby seeing our skin. Being loved as a witchmeans your touchcould rip me apartbut never would. Being loved as a witchis a thingI haveContinue reading “Being loved as a witch”
Witchcraft within
My witch had once been an ordinary person, and when Dystopia hit, had fallen out of that reality. Against all odds, she had survived her witching trial and had escaped the flames, to find a dark kind of love with someone just as lost as herself.While writing, I am sending her through all of thisContinue reading “Witchcraft within”
He taught her darkness
If I leave my witch with her demon alone for a while, the world will be in for a tale. At some point, she will give into him, because that is the point of witching, right?„Why is everyone dying?“, she is whispering, looking at the holes I had left in my photo album to sendContinue reading “He taught her darkness”
When this witch had you
Having youfelt like strawberries and creamon a rainy day in summerwaiting for a thunderstorm.It felt likebreathing in deeply for oncewith the patter of rainingpainting our world blue.Wrapped intosheets that are white and softholding us togetherwhile we‘re falling apart. „We could tell you that we love you“, my witch giggled. „But no. Look at our strawberriesContinue reading “When this witch had you”
Tale about another last time
I wrote you a letterand was so scaredit might not reach youin timethat I putall my stampson it.I had this feelingit might be last one.I ripped outtwo photographsthat had been sleepinginside an albumbecause I neededto see themand pass them onto you.I was walkingthrough rainand streets emptiedby this plagueto send the letteron its way.HopingIt was nottooContinue reading “Tale about another last time”
“Buried-alive”-thoughts
I wonder how extreme I would have had to live my life to not have regrets right now. Sometimes, I listen to a song that I would like to say reminds me of a moment in which I was happy, but I fear that it might also remind me of a moment in which IContinue reading ““Buried-alive”-thoughts”
Hope might have killed
„I don‘t think a little hope ever killed anyone.“„Maybe it will kill me, if you keep throwing it at me to shut me up.“ Yes, this conversation really happened. It was much longer, and included a lot more fury on both sites. I wonder why people keep doing this.Why do people always think that denyingContinue reading “Hope might have killed”
Tale about hidden things
„I never told him this“, my witch whispered. You touched a part of my soulthat had always been hidden.You found it all by yourselfand I wanted you to keep it.That part was woundedvery long agoand I never noticed the painuntil you showed methat this was no scarbut still bleedingand I am still leaking. „I neverContinue reading “Tale about hidden things”
Thoughts on surviving
For people who have been close to me in the old world, my blog is difficult to read, although some of them even are interested in my historical witching novel that will hopefully be written out of all this one day.At first, I thought this hesitation to read my blog posts might be caused byContinue reading “Thoughts on surviving”
The oddness of witching
While I am drafting my historical novel in progress, and am reading all kind of things about witches, I have often stressed the point that my witch once was a normal person and was only seen as suspicious when Dystopia hit. Normal in the case of a young woman living in Europe in the 17thContinue reading “The oddness of witching”
Inside of a witch
There is an ocean inside of me.There is a depth that is risingand is cold but burning.There are words never saidand thoughts kept secret.There is pain beyond this worldand joy as bright as stars. There is an ocean inside of meand sometimes I am leaking. There is an ocean inside of me.Drown with me.Drown insideContinue reading “Inside of a witch”
A tale that has to belong into this world
I am barely a person anymore, because I‘ve been vibrating too much on that last frequency, so that no light would ever break itself on my shape. During the last year, I have said these words very often. I felt as if all the things that had once made me a person did not belongContinue reading “A tale that has to belong into this world”
A special night for witches
This night is a special one for witches. It holds all the secrets of their mysterious existence among the normal humans. It is a night to determine their fate. Some witches might have wondered for the (mostly short) rest of their lives what the hell might have happened while they were asleep.Asleep? Yes, that‘s right.Continue reading “A special night for witches”
Never happy ending
When you held meI stopped leakingfor a short momentthat was a sparkle. I saw you and you saw meand I was hurtby what the worldhad done to you. All of ourselvesand skins still markedby thoughts and shardssank into each other. I want to be thankfulfor this happy ending,but I don‘t want thisto ever end. „HappyContinue reading “Never happy ending”
A hole to be safe in
I want this soul to stop leaking.I want it to stop drowning while carrying the weight of all the worlds that have died.I want it to take a deep breath and feel the sun once more.I want it to stop existing for words never spoken and things never felt. „Whenever I try to make itContinue reading “A hole to be safe in”
Feel me as a witch
Sometimes, I close my eyes to see my witch. I see a lonely and troubled Lady alone in the kitchen of a house that had not always been this empty.I see her hair, which is curlier and more red than mine. I see her pacing up and down, while casting views out of the window.Continue reading “Feel me as a witch”
Oh my shadow!
„With my shadow,oh my shadow“, my witch whispers. It‘s not enough,it was alwaystoo short and too earlyto break apartwith words and thoughtsstill unspoken. Just onceone more timehis eyes on meinstead of nightsempty and fullof ice creamand wine. In moments like thisthe world is leakingis woundedis sore.
What do witches dream for?
„If witching dreams are really about closing my eyes and imagining things just to feel them once more, they still make me sad“, I tell my witch. „A minute of escape, but no real relief. But if they are all about pleading with the universe and convincing it to bend the rules, then witching dreamsContinue reading “What do witches dream for?”
See me with strawberries and cream
I wanted you to see mecurled up on my bedeating strawberries and creamwearing nothing but a shirttoo wide for meand I wanted you to pet my headand smile at meas gently and as warmas you would haveif you could haveever seen me this way. „At least I wore the dress I wanted to wear forContinue reading “See me with strawberries and cream”
Ice cream and wine in Dystopia
I am having ice cream and wine because I have had both in one of the happiest nights of my life.I did not know it back then. I thought the world would always be there and I had just figured out my personal relationship to things that just were and were good the way theyContinue reading “Ice cream and wine in Dystopia”
Picking up the shards
I am picking up the shardsto put them back together.But to have those shardsthings have to break,and breaking isn’t fair.Surviving isn’t fairbut has to be donefor now. Even when brokenly bleedingand bleedingly brokenI am still herealthough some of the pieceshave lost what held themtogether onceand are looking fornew places to go. „Witches transform“, I amContinue reading “Picking up the shards”
Update on the witching novel
I have to remind myself what I started this blog for, from time to time.Besides making sense of a situation that I suddenly found myself in and having somewhere to go to with certain thoughts and feelings, I wanted to document my writing process while working on my novel about a witch in Europe inContinue reading “Update on the witching novel”
My perfect witching dream
My perfect witching dreamis you waving at me from across the old hallof that very old train stationwhere we once metwhen Dystopia had noteaten up our souls yetand we would meet therewith other people all aroundtheir voices and their laughterand we would not carejust running onto each otherand showing each otherwhat wounded bits and partsContinue reading “My perfect witching dream”
The historical horror of living a life
A while ago, someone tried to convince me that it is okay for old people to die and those words were supposed to take away my sadness. I think that life is cruel and this is unfair. Blood is unfair.Blood running through this veins and transporting oxygen to this brain, only to one day stopContinue reading “The historical horror of living a life”
Mistress witch writes 