My thoughts always return to the moment when you entered my life.Actually, you have been in my life before, but before that moment which I remember, you were just someone.I am reliving the moment that you stopped being just someone and became more to me.I have to think of those months when the weather isContinue reading “Do you know I’m in love with you already?”
Tag Archives: isolation
I’m still saying these things
You‘re not here anymoreand I‘m still saying these things. I‘m still saying these thingsthat I did not ever want to say before,that I did not even joke about. You‘re goneand I‘m still saying these thingsthat I wanted to say to you. I‘m still saying these thingsalthough you can‘t hear me. But I‘m still saying theseContinue reading “I’m still saying these things”
Dystopia in February
„Living as a human being is over.“Thoughts arrive before the feeling.They happen and don‘t feel so bad at first, but are the first step of drowning in despair.I understood that just now, that I can think pain before it really arrives. „You say you‘re dead inside“, my witch says while skeptically eyeing the piece ofContinue reading “Dystopia in February”
“There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?”
„Something has been lost“, I say to m witch. „It has always been invisible, but was still there, and now it‘s gone.“ „And how do you know it‘s gone?“, Layla asks. „I feel it.“ Just stop feeling, stop feeling it. It is invisibleIt is in this mind in this head this chestIt makes the heartContinue reading ““There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?””
“I envy the dead.”
„I envy the dead“, I say to my witch as we open up another bottle of wine. „I think they are better off.“ My witch does not respond. „And you know, ever since I have also lost someone in this pandemic, I feel like I am entitled to say so.“ Layla just nods, while fightingContinue reading ““I envy the dead.””
Just some dystopian spiraling thoughts
„You will not give up, yet“, a friend of mine tells me whenever I am really mad at the universe. „You have too much fighting energy left.“ And I tell him about being ready to dig my own grave for one last kiss. „Okay, I will not give up on you, little one“, he correctsContinue reading “Just some dystopian spiraling thoughts”
Walking through Dystopia
This one is about me and my witch walking through Dystopia. Or walking away from it? One of those odd things that I started during the first lockdown and have not given up yet are daily walks for 2-3 hours. They led out of the city and into forests and fields, between haunted houses, cowsContinue reading “Walking through Dystopia”
Do you remember the last time?
Now that nothingness is taking over again, and at least where Layla and I live we are all sworn into facing the hardest months of the pandemic just now, I wonder how many last times of things I remember. Let‘s start with this one:The last time my friends forced me to sing karaoke with them.Continue reading “Do you remember the last time?”
An echo caused by silence
Some words will never be heardalthough there are still lips to form themand breath to send them outinto a world that will never give them space. This is when outside this skin is nothingand the world inside has diedand while inside this silence ragesthis skin still stands in spaces it was granted. And when thisContinue reading “An echo caused by silence”
Fragility
I am still thinking about why this year has been so tough on me. Tough enough for witching wine nights and starting to blog about them. To understand that, I have to look a few years back, when I had moved away from everyone I had ever known and attended university. I was full ofContinue reading “Fragility”
Witches set everything on fire
„Being happy, really passionate even, without setting everything on fire – that would be great!“, I say to my witch as we cook a vanilla flavored dessert at midnight. My witch giggled. „You can‘t have everything.“And she eyed me skeptically, as I poured the powder into the milk.I was in a good mood. So goodContinue reading “Witches set everything on fire”
The perfect year for witching
„I used to have those yellow lights in my windows, too“, I say to my witch as we take a walk late at night and find our haunted houses on the way decorated with beautiful Christmas lights. „But of course I hate these things from now on.“„Sure.“ I had to admit that this December nightContinue reading “The perfect year for witching”
Tale about goodbyes
We never said goodbye, so you have to return. I am thinking about all those goodbyes that were never said.About eyes becoming fearful round.About lips opening slightly, but no words coming out.About tears getting ready but staying inside. And I wonder whether these were promises for precious things to still be part of days thatContinue reading “Tale about goodbyes”
Dystopia in December
Earlier this year, I had wondered what it must have been like to live in one of those places where the first wave of the pandemic hit really hard. Although even then it had not been that far away, at least not personally, I had thought that it might be different to have this disasterContinue reading “Dystopia in December”
I want to say something
Can I say something?I want to say something.Please, let me say something. Let me say something in a voice that you like.With a nice voice.With a voice to be heard,without sounding hard. Listen to my voice as a voice that you like.Listen to my voice that you likewhile I say that I have to sayContinue reading “I want to say something”
Caught in candy
„Something has been lost“, I say to my witch. „Something that has been just as essential as food and rest, and I‘m still expected to function.„Just stop functioning“, Layla says and eats her violet cloud. I am certain that I already have. I have been through months of screaming at night on a field, andContinue reading “Caught in candy”
An attempt to postpone starvation
I summoned my witch with wine and chocolate, but when I was roaming the store once more, I found a green sparkling wine that looked really interesting. I also bought frozen strawberries, because they were part of my favorite cupcake recipe. For that recipe, I did need other things, too, and so I bought eggs,Continue reading “An attempt to postpone starvation”
Isolation call
Today, I called different people, because I really just needed to call someone and hear another person‘s voice and feel a little less alone. I called my grandmother, because her birthday was last sunday and she did not pick up the phone by then (can old people please stop doing this while a virus isContinue reading “Isolation call”
Dystopia goes on
I am sitting on the couch and I can‘t move. My feet are wet and dry socks are just two steps away from me. But I don‘t want to move, because once I‘ve moved, I would also have to bring the laundry into the basement and put it up to dry, and also get theContinue reading “Dystopia goes on”
Dreaming of witchcraft
I had to think about the daydreams that Layla had brought into my life. To those musings that energize, that cast feelings, give wings to fly.That make the skin feel softer, enlightened.In those empty days, they were everywhere.They where the last thing I thought about at night. And the first thoughts in the morning.They wereContinue reading “Dreaming of witchcraft”
A little addictive
Ice cream. I scream. Basecally the same thing, these nights. It was not always wine. Sometimes, Layla needed Ice cream. Ice cream tasted better at 4 AM, especially after getting lost on a field in the dark and having a really uncomfortable encounter with the farmer who owned that particular field. “What is he evenContinue reading “A little addictive”
And what did the universe say?
„And what did the universe say?“ Sometimes I wanted to answer this with „Nothing so far.“There was a lot of silence, a lot of opportunities having gone to dust, these days. But then again, there is something. There is the wind, and the highway on the other end of the field. There is the smellContinue reading “And what did the universe say?”
Mistress witch writes 