Thoughts on writing

I write for my blog / witching novel everyday, and I think about writing everyday because for someone like me in this strange new world there is not much left to do. But tiring and distasteful lockdown jokes aside – I have some thoughts on writing which I would like to share. Never before inContinue reading “Thoughts on writing”

Spring, again.

Spring could be so pretty, it always made me sad. When the early sunrise was pink again, and the sun began to shine very careful after all these dark months. „I wish time would stop being linear“, I say to my witch. It was almost too warm to wear my boots, but only almost. IContinue reading “Spring, again.”

Dystopia in February

„Living as a human being is over.“Thoughts arrive before the feeling.They happen and don‘t feel so bad at first, but are the first step of drowning in despair.I understood that just now, that I can think pain before it really arrives. „You say you‘re dead inside“, my witch says while skeptically eyeing the piece ofContinue reading “Dystopia in February”

“There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?”

„Something has been lost“, I say to m witch. „It has always been invisible, but was still there, and now it‘s gone.“ „And how do you know it‘s gone?“, Layla asks. „I feel it.“ Just stop feeling, stop feeling it. It is invisibleIt is in this mind in this head this chestIt makes the heartContinue reading ““There is a way to cure hysteria, you know?””

“I envy the dead.”

„I envy the dead“, I say to my witch as we open up another bottle of wine. „I think they are better off.“ My witch does not respond. „And you know, ever since I have also lost someone in this pandemic, I feel like I am entitled to say so.“ Layla just nods, while fightingContinue reading ““I envy the dead.””

Where do I find those witches?

After Layla has helped me explore witchcraft for almost a year now, I want to collect what I could find out about witches so far. Most of my readers might have certain ideas about witches. I have had most of them myself, because we can find them everywhere in art and literature. Some of thoseContinue reading “Where do I find those witches?”

When I write about witches

Whenever I write about witchesthere are thoughtsin my headlooking for a placeand cutting cross my mind. When I write about witches,I am missing things.Early mornings,a cup of coffeeand something to do. When I write about witchesI am missing people.Steps I recognize,laughter I know,and most importantly: you. Whenever I write about witches,my inside has lostwhatever onceContinue reading “When I write about witches”

Tale from another world

Tonight, my witch and I would like to tell a tale that could once have taken place in this world, but certainly could not anymore. It is full of choices to make, of coffee places late at night, and people to meet. It all started with nights that a young woman spent with books aloneContinue reading “Tale from another world”

A shrine or a graveyard?

„I‘m a witch, so I have options“, I say while eating the cake that I have mad just for myself. „I can either build up a shrine for my old life and things which I once believed in, or else I burn everything and accept that this part of me has died.“„Those are the onlyContinue reading “A shrine or a graveyard?”

Some heartbreaking reasons for witchcraft

A while ago, I wondered why people ever did witchcraft, or came to lonely and weird people to do it for them. If something requires the blood of a white dove, flesh of an executed murderer and other ingredients you will most likely get caught while collecting, why even bother? But now that I amContinue reading “Some heartbreaking reasons for witchcraft”

Just some dystopian spiraling thoughts

„You will not give up, yet“, a friend of mine tells me whenever I am really mad at the universe. „You have too much fighting energy left.“ And I tell him about being ready to dig my own grave for one last kiss. „Okay, I will not give up on you, little one“, he correctsContinue reading “Just some dystopian spiraling thoughts”

The intensity of witching

Witches either drown or burn.There rarely ever is something in between. A witch has the most vivid dreams and burns up in passion powerful enough to embrace the whole universe with its flames. A witch easily lives too much, and therefore has to be purged of all those dreams that took over her soul andContinue reading “The intensity of witching”

More thoughts on historical fiction!

Living through history is no fun. I read that in countless tweets and found a lot of memes about it, and I think that many people will agree, especially after last year. Seeing every social aspect of life and big parts of infrastructure breaking down and always having in mind that doing the things youContinue reading “More thoughts on historical fiction!”

Walking through Dystopia

This one is about me and my witch walking through Dystopia. Or walking away from it? One of those odd things that I started during the first lockdown and have not given up yet are daily walks for 2-3 hours. They led out of the city and into forests and fields, between haunted houses, cowsContinue reading “Walking through Dystopia”

Do you remember the last time?

Now that nothingness is taking over again, and at least where Layla and I live we are all sworn into facing the hardest months of the pandemic just now, I wonder how many last times of things I remember. Let‘s start with this one:The last time my friends forced me to sing karaoke with them.Continue reading “Do you remember the last time?”

An echo caused by silence

Some words will never be heardalthough there are still lips to form themand breath to send them outinto a world that will never give them space. This is when outside this skin is nothingand the world inside has diedand while inside this silence ragesthis skin still stands in spaces it was granted. And when thisContinue reading “An echo caused by silence”

Fragility

I am still thinking about why this year has been so tough on me. Tough enough for witching wine nights and starting to blog about them. To understand that, I have to look a few years back, when I had moved away from everyone I had ever known and attended university. I was full ofContinue reading “Fragility”

Witches set everything on fire

„Being happy, really passionate even, without setting everything on fire – that would be great!“, I say to my witch as we cook a vanilla flavored dessert at midnight. My witch giggled. „You can‘t have everything.“And she eyed me skeptically, as I poured the powder into the milk.I was in a good mood. So goodContinue reading “Witches set everything on fire”

The perfect year for witching

„I used to have those yellow lights in my windows, too“, I say to my witch as we take a walk late at night and find our haunted houses on the way decorated with beautiful Christmas lights. „But of course I hate these things from now on.“„Sure.“ I had to admit that this December nightContinue reading “The perfect year for witching”

Dystopia in December

Earlier this year, I had wondered what it must have been like to live in one of those places where the first wave of the pandemic hit really hard. Although even then it had not been that far away, at least not personally, I had thought that it might be different to have this disasterContinue reading “Dystopia in December”

Caught in candy

„Something has been lost“, I say to my witch. „Something that has been just as essential as food and rest, and I‘m still expected to function.„Just stop functioning“, Layla says and eats her violet cloud. I am certain that I already have. I have been through months of screaming at night on a field, andContinue reading “Caught in candy”

Hope is furious

„It‘s time to wear black and be sad.“My witch and I perfectly agreed with 13 year old me. Being 25 years old in 2020 felt surprisingly similar. Whatever would make me happy, or a little lesser sad, was not available anymore. „It‘s constant darkness, and I‘m still running around looking for a light that isContinue reading “Hope is furious”

Drowning is what witches do

We are drowning again.Maybe, this is just what witches do. It‘s 9 AM and I have to get up, while my witch is asleep, curled up in a short night dress on my arm chair by the window. Lucky witch. And suddenly, it‘s far into the afternoon, and I wonder how time can fly byContinue reading “Drowning is what witches do”

Why I summoned my witch

„Every family has an odd one“, my witch said as I posed in front of the mirror while wearing my new mask that matched the brand new underwear that I had bought. „My hair had always been the brightest and the curliest.“ In our very first wine nights, we had already discussed where Layla hadContinue reading “Why I summoned my witch”

An attempt to postpone starvation

I summoned my witch with wine and chocolate, but when I was roaming the store once more, I found a green sparkling wine that looked really interesting. I also bought frozen strawberries, because they were part of my favorite cupcake recipe. For that recipe, I did need other things, too, and so I bought eggs,Continue reading “An attempt to postpone starvation”

A lucky knot in this weird universe

I am going to collect everything that is not broken yet, and put all the lucky knots of this weird universe in one place, for once. „Are you already done with everything that‘s broken?“, Layla is mocking me. No, I am not. How could I. Things that break lay scattered into thousands of shards andContinue reading “A lucky knot in this weird universe”

Tale about staring at the wall

There‘s a dot on the left side, that‘s a bit bigger than the other dots around.Its borders are rounder.It plays with the light and the shadows at the heads of the smaller ones.This one is called out-of-breath. There is a really small one on the opposite side.This one is mostly ignored by light and shadow,andContinue reading “Tale about staring at the wall”

Isolation call

Today, I called different people, because I really just needed to call someone and hear another person‘s voice and feel a little less alone. I called my grandmother, because her birthday was last sunday and she did not pick up the phone by then (can old people please stop doing this while a virus isContinue reading “Isolation call”

Why I write about witches

I have already written about how I summoned Layla, the witch living in my kitchen during the pandemic, with chocolate and wine, and sometimes with ice cream, and how we had the dark kind of fun, and were missing our boys, always good for a tale about surviving Dystopia. But I think, this might beContinue reading “Why I write about witches”

Tale about ice cream and wine

There is a path that I need to take, from time to time.Maybe, because once I have been walking on it through the most passionate rain in early spring.Or maybe, because I needed to walk down that particular path to buy ice cream and wine for one of the best nights of my life.Or, becauseContinue reading “Tale about ice cream and wine”