One thing I have always needed my witch for were choices. I had always felt as if I was able to define myself through the choices I made and also had seen my witch as someone without this chance in life. I always thought that she was born into a world that determined it all.Continue reading “Thoughts on choices”
Tag Archives: thoughts
About feeling alive in difficult times
Lately, I have found an almost forgotten joy in being alive again. For me that meant sitting in my favourite coffee place again, after a long time without daring to do so. Carefully stepping inside, ordering a drink to go and drinking it alone in a corner outside was the only I sometimes granted myselfContinue reading “About feeling alive in difficult times”
Broken sex
Was this body made to taste things? „I was made to taste a Vanilla Latte“, my witch giggles into the sunrise one morning.„I was made to taste this raspberry banana cupcake“, I respond. Bodies can sense so many things.Some on the outside, like the summer rain in a stormy night.Some on the inside, as theContinue reading “Broken sex”
What is left to feel?
Have you ever felt a hope that burned so bright and was risking so much that it completely absorbed you?I have felt such a hope very recently.It was not a happy feeling, not a good one as such. It was defiant. It meant fighting what I thought the world was telling me. I wanted toContinue reading “What is left to feel?”
Post-Dystopia silence
Now that I have things back to sooth my soul, I have to wonder whether I‘m actually soothing it or simply numbing myself. „No really“, I tell my witch, as I empty another glass bottle over the kitchen sink. „I‘d like to feel things again. Like, anything. And also, I got all these recipes wrong.“Continue reading “Post-Dystopia silence”
A witching question
Learning about witches is just another funny attempt to cope with existing as a human being. Being human is a difficult thing.It shows the desire to grab a something deep inside that defines who we are, while also excluding all of the things that are too terrible and still keep on happening. We call thingsContinue reading “A witching question”
About the instability of things
Living during what could easily be the end of the longest era of (more or less) global stability has an awful lot of things to do with people either not realizing it, or enjoying the collapse of things far too much. To the first ones: Do you remember this proverb about setting things free? ThisContinue reading “About the instability of things”
In the name of my witch
The second morning in a row that I ordered coffee in Layla‘s name. Check! The weather couldn‘t decide between sunshine and a blizzard and I had once again not slept nearly enough, and I was wondering if my black dress with all its ruffles and mash was actually fitting to teach the little children waitingContinue reading “In the name of my witch”
How to not fail in flames!
Going down in flames is not as much fun as it may seem to a heart aching in Dystopia. Typing these words, my thoughts return to the nice man wearing a silver west over a fine shirt while explaining the model of a candle light and pointing out the 1300°C it could reach, and oh!Continue reading “How to not fail in flames!”
The myth of Dystopia
Do you remember the meme that made the round a few years ago and was about how our grandparents apparently described their way to school?Barefoot through a blizzard, fighting off wild animals and all of that on their own?Or, have you ever come across this weird saying about difficult times making great people … and,Continue reading “The myth of Dystopia”
Post against war
I can smell sweat and acrylic paint, and my hand aches from holding on to a wooden handle for a few hours too long. A heavy weight on my chest has eased for at least a few breaths after all of this and I feel a strange love for all the people around me. TheContinue reading “Post against war”
Hearts don’t count.
Daddy said it‘s fine,so we‘ll cut off this kin.It‘s not gonna hurt, right?It‘s never gonna hurt. Daddy says it‘s fine,so we‘ll let them tear our hearts out.Because they don‘t count, right?Hearts don‘t count. „But he said, it‘s fine“, my witch giggled as a response to me throwing my cup of tea at the wall, whileContinue reading “Hearts don’t count.”
About these days of darkness
„We will find a way“needs the earth beneath our feetnot to burnnot to be torn apartbut to flourishto let the pathwhich we could hope alonggrow. „These were the darkest days that I have ever witnessed“, I am telling my witch.
Witching healings
Once there were nights whose deep blue was sparkling and was vibrating on that frequency of a wonderful melody. Those sparkles were a warm and cozy orange, and the melody was one to lift you up without ever losing hold. Those nights tasted like ice cream and wine and had sugar sprinkles on them. „So,Continue reading “Witching healings”
Thoughts and photos in old places!
Old places tease stories.These stories can be full of yearning. Places with an old soul can have this fascination. It is easy to glorify the past, although there never were the good old days. They were just full of different problems that were either luckily solved or forgotten. And still, an old staircase barely visibleContinue reading “Thoughts and photos in old places!”
About all things bad and evil
„Why are bad things even allowed to happen?“, I have asked my witch more than just once during my sleepless nights, and she has giggled wisely, because that was something she had made the world wonder about so very often.And so Layla laughed. „If she ever was supposed to be Daddy‘s girl and has simplyContinue reading “About all things bad and evil”
About all the wrong moments in time
The moment when something is wrong likes to arrive with a drumming. A deep and sudden drumming that can be felt deep in the stomach … Or even only there? I have been close to writing the first moment in the life of my witch when something was seriously wrong, but something kept me fromContinue reading “About all the wrong moments in time”
Nostalgic tale
I fall in loveWith momentsAnd if theyScatterI will collectTheir shardsand let thementerdeep intomy skinto feeland tasteand bethis momentone more time. “Most of these recipes are just nostalgia dressed in blood”, I say while reading one of my witch’s old books in my garden scented candle light, and Layla giggles into her bottle of wine. “Isn’tContinue reading “Nostalgic tale”
Tale about kisses and tears
„The horror of having a body is that of hoping for it to last long enough to fulfill the dream within the head“, I tell my witch over our midnight tea. Let us cook the blood out of these sheetsand season itwith kisses and with tears.In a world made of last timeslet us ask forjustContinue reading “Tale about kisses and tears”
History disrupted (and a pretty street lamp)
I didn‘t take this photo just because the street lamp looked pretty, but seriously – it does! And I was surprised to find it there where I had found it, and here we have a realization which made me quite spontaneously question my view on history in general (including an unscheduled lecture for the friendContinue reading “History disrupted (and a pretty street lamp)”
About those very historical feelings
When I first had the idea to write historical fiction, I felt almost blind.It was like disoriented trembling into a new kind of world. I could not feel myself into it.How were common life events perceived by someone living in the 14th century?What did the death of someone mean in a world so much moreContinue reading “About those very historical feelings”
Overly dramatic december post!
„I only have one regret“, I tell my unicorn at 4 Am while talking two times as fast and three times as high as usual. „I never had cotton candy hair!“ And we both keep on needle felting our pastel colored hearts to give away for another sad Christmas. „A youth in the 2010s withoutContinue reading “Overly dramatic december post!”
Closer to the past
When there is no future to be seen anymore, let‘s drown in pretty castles, and oh! – Those dresses! Before I started this blog, I was mostly writing science fiction. I never shared any of it anywhere. In my head, I was building worlds with cities made of towers in the clouds under a violetContinue reading “Closer to the past”
Don’t mind me talking to those who left
Where are you and why aren‘t you him? I know it‘s unfair of meto come you with such a broken heartbut I never asked you to fix itjust to hold itfor a second. Where are you right now?I want to go thereto put my thoughts somewherethey do not fit hereever. Where are you and whyContinue reading “Don’t mind me talking to those who left”
Dystopia blossoming – impressions from the witching garden
My thoughts today are in my witching garden. I don‘t even have a garden, but for some time within the past lockdowns I have helped a friend with his while hiding away in there from everything going on around me, and since my sweat pants radius has grown with each of these times for aContinue reading “Dystopia blossoming – impressions from the witching garden”
Thoughts on 18 months of witching blogging!
Witching thoughts do look just like the photo I chose for this blog post. They are chaotic, blur out easily and are in general not made to exist in this world. Good luck catching them! It can be exhausting, I know what I‘m talking about … Still, I have been thinking for a while nowContinue reading “Thoughts on 18 months of witching blogging!”
The history of a witching belief!
Witches are connected to Dystopia.As soon as disaster starts, they show up and take over the horizon over the hilltops … Or, at least in our heads.The myth around witchcraft as it developed in Europe in late medieval and early modern times was a reaction to historic events which made life appear fragile. I amContinue reading “The history of a witching belief!”
Witching wisdom #1
To be corrupted, you have to have a soul at all.To be transformed, your body has to have a shape at all.To have a nightmare, you have to be able to dream at all. To be deceived by all those fantasies your demon may paint in front of you, you have to have had theirContinue reading “Witching wisdom #1”
The upbringing of a witch
„What does being an adult even mean?“, I ask my witch at midnight with a huge cupcake and unopened letters in my hands. Since I grew up in a family that would not let you count as an adult without being married, an own house and a baby at least on the way, I amContinue reading “The upbringing of a witch”
Nuances in Dystopia
All of my Dystopia tales were about last times.Things having ended and everything turning into nothing. I chose photos with blurry silhouettes covered in rain drops and blood. They were dark and intense and written to survive – and 18 months later, I am still here, and after all of this, my next blog postContinue reading “Nuances in Dystopia”
Mistress witch writes 